Good morning, Hank, it's Sunday.

So, the Yeti and I are beginning this gigantor home renovation, part of which is to replace these moldy basement walls with, like, non-moldy basement walls. And when a contractor came to talk to us about it, he was like, "Look, I recommend destroying the wall on your own. I mean, it takes a professional to build a wall, but anybody can demolish a wall." And now, Hank, a week later, I feel like I can say with authority and pride that if anyone can demolish a wall, I can do something that no one can do.

Fail at demolishing a wall. And so, today, Hank, I am going to share my unique talent with you. I am going to teach you how not to demolish a wall in six easy steps.

Step one, the octopus. So, Hank, my first strategy to try and tear down the walls (this was pre-holes, by the way) was to throw myself against it. I did this once before, actually.

I threw myself against the wall to find out if I was an octopus because, you know, octopi stick to walls. People don't. And when I did it that first time, I felt the wall shake a little, so the first thing I tried was the octopus.

Still not an octopus. So, that didn't work. Then, I moved on to step two: calling former Soviet leader, Mikhail Gorbachev. "Hi, Mr.

Gorbachev? Tear down that wall!" And he was like, "-awkward Russian-". You know, and then of course I remember he doesn't speak English, and plus he lives in Russia, so it would be, like, totally expensive to fly him to Indiana just to tear down my basement wall.

And so I moved on to step three: calling dad. Dad said I needed a crowbar but I felt like crowbars are like hand guns, you know? I understand that I have a constitutional right to own a crowbar but I don't really feel like I need one unless I'm a career criminal.

But he eventually convinced me to go out and buy a crowbar, whereupon I commenced with step four: attempting to use a crowbar. Ugghhhh. Which went like that for about an hour and a half.

Then I moved on to step five: getting really angry, which is where the holes in the wall that you see come into play. Basically Hank I got really mad and I started to hit the wall, which I don't mean metaphorically. Aaarrgghhh!

Hulk smash! Then I did that until I felt sleepy, whereupon I took a nap. And then when I woke up I moved on to step six, which, if you're going to not demolish a wall you want to save until the very end of your experience.

Step six is checking to make sure there is no active electrical wiring in the places where you are willy nilly throwing your steel crowbar. Which, as it turns out, there is. So that's how you don't demolish a wall.

You do the octopus, you call Mikhail Gorbachev, you call your dad, you get a crowbar, you go bonkers, you take a nap, you wake up from the nap, check for electrical wiring and then declare yourself a proud and epic fail. Oh home renovation, you have begun so auspiciously. Hank, you'll see me on Tuesday.

But will you see the wall? Only time will tell. So, Hank, I think when you get a crowbar you're supposed to want to, like, smash stuff with it, but that wasn't my initial reaction.

My first reaction was that I wanted to treat it as a cane and kind of do a dance like (sings) do do do do do do do do do do, do do do do do do do do do do, do do do do do, do do do do do, do!