We want to take a minute to apologize.

We feel like we’ve failed you in one really specific way. Here on Bizarre Beasts we’ve shown you what a lot of weird critters look like, from the furry arms of the yeti crab to nightmare fuel like the hagfish and the Mexican mole lizard.

And we’ve been able to share with you what a few of them sound like, like the honking of male elephant seals and kakapo in their breeding season. And we’ve even described what some of them smell like. But, we feel like this is the place where we’ve fallen short.

To really understand a Bizarre Beast, you need to be able to actually smell them. We had to stop and ask ourselves why only Hank got to be treated to the olfactory experience that is popcorn-scented binturong pee. And that’s why we’re launching the Bizarre Beasts Awesome Smells Club. [♪♪ INTRO ♪♪] If you’ve ever wondered what a particular animal smells like, wonder no more.

Every month, the Bizarre Beasts Awesome Smells Club will send you the scent of one of the critters we’ve covered on the show. We’ll cover some of our classic olfactory hits, like the popcorn-scented binturong and the hoatzin, perhaps better known as the stink-bird that smells like cow poop. But we’ll also be serving up new, artisanal, handcrafted odors, lifted straight from the fur and feathers of animals both strange and familiar.

For example, did you know that beavers have special butt glands that produce a molasses-like goo that smells like vanilla, called castoreum? We’ve bottled only the freshest essence of castoreum for you, our subscribers, to take a big whiff of. Or if you prefer a more fruit-forward scent, we also have eau de crested auklet.

These monogamous seabirds smell like tangerines, thanks to a compound called octanal that they produce to attract mates. Let us know in the comments which stinky critter you’d especially like to sniff and we’ll get right on sourcing it, for our limited-edition Beasts scratch-and-sniff stickers! Happy April Fool’s, everyone!

I know it's hard to believe, but Hank is not actually started a perfume subscription service... yet. These stickers are only available for pre-order for 24 hours, TODAY, April 1st, 2023. You can order them at BizarreBeastsShow.com.

And keep an eye out on Friday the 7th, when we’ll release April’s official Bizarre Beasts episode! [♪♪ OUTRO ♪♪]