Craig: You might be wondering why I'm wearing a bath robe right now. Yeah. Well, you see, I've been... This is my fifth time on the stage, you know, as a featured creator at VidCon and they keep, they keep asking me back for some reason. I mean, I'm an old man. Half of you don't know who I am I'm sure. And so I'm basically, you know, I think I'm just grandfathered in. I didn't even bother putting clothes on. You know what? I think I'm done. I think that was, yeah. I think we did a good job. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

(Walks off stage)

Fan: Why are you wearing a robe?

Craig: You know, I'm not trying anymore.

(Plays on game. Tries to nap. Goes to help desk)

Craig: Which way to the nap rooms?

Man behind desk: There are lounges.

Craig: Worst VidCon ever.

(Walks down corridor)

Craig: VidCon.

Corey: Haha! Craig, I brought your weapon for you.

Craig: Corey the Canadian, my nemesis for some reason.

(Fight)

Craig: Wait, wait. You know what? My heart's just not in it anymore.

Corey: I'm sorry.

(Goes to room and gets into bed)

Craig: Could I get a rotisserie natural chicken? (Chicken arrives) Mmm. Chicken in bed.

(Hank enters)

Hank: What are you doing?

Craig: I'm eating chicken in bed.

Hank: You lazy, hairy...

Craig: Hey.

Hank: I invite you hear to VidCon and this is what you do, laying on the bed!

Craig: That's true.

Hank: That's a nice robe, Craig.

Craig: Thanks.

Hank: Well it's mine now.

Craig: No it's not.

Hank: Isn't it?

Craig: No.

Hank: Ha! (Hank now wears the robe)

Craig: How'd you do that?

Hank: I'm the King of VidCon, I can do everything while I'm here. I could make the camera guy wear a robe.

(Camera guy is now wearing a robe)

Hank: So you get out there or you're never coming back again.

(Hank jumps out window)

Craig: We're on the fourteenth floor.

(Parents walk in)

Craig: Mum? Dad?

Mum: Son, we are so * disappointed in you.

Dad: Yeah, what she said. (Parents start to leave) Can I have some of that chicken?

Craig: No.

(Parents leave. Chyna enters)

Chyna: You've changed.

Craig: No I haven't.

Chyna: Oh yeah. You're the same. Love you.

(Chyna leaves)

Craig: I love you too.

(Sam enters)

Craig: Sam?

Sam: I don't know where I am or how I got here.

(Craig enters)

Craig: Are you a clone?

Craig 2: No, I'm you from the future, two hours from now. You have to get dressed and get out there.

Craig: Why?

Craig 2: 'Cause I just walked past the 7-Eleven and I saw one of those hot dogs in there.

Craig: Yeah, you hadn't eaten for a few hours.

Craig 2: I wanted to go in and get one but

Together: No shirt, no service.

Craig: Right. That's alright. I'm eating chicken.

Craig 2: Actually you're right. We could probably lose the weight. Keep eating that chicken, though. It still tastes real good in my mouth.

(Craig 2 leaves. Craig falls asleep and dreams of past VidCons. Craig wakes up)

Craig: Oh yeah. I forgot how much I love it when people pay attention to me. OK, let's do this. I'll do it for the applause.

Sam: What are you gonna do?

Craig: Oh, I don't know, juggle or something. People like that.

Sam: Cool.

(Craig leaves room and restarts fight)

Corey: Yay! We're fighting again!

Craig: Yeah I know, but I've got to go. I'll be right back.

Corey: OK. I'll wait here.

(Craig grabs apples and starts to juggle)

Craig: Applause. Applause.

(Craig goes back on stage and drops apples)

(Outro)

Mum: Son, we are so * disappointed in you.

Dad: Yeah, what she said.

(Wink ding)