Good morning, John. It's been quite a week, and I spent a lot of time looking at a Google Doc, trying to like, come back from your very good, very emotional video and have something deep and profound to say, but I'm a little too overwhelmed for it right now.

So then I was just thinking of what do I like to do? I like to share knowledge, I like to learn things, and so I tweeted, "What's your best fact?" And then I read through over 900 replies to that tweet, and I have selected for you the best facts. According to me.

Let's start with some good evolutionary history action, 'cause sharks have been around for longer than trees. Which is something, considering that as Dr. Steve points out, also trees aren't a thing. They're a strategy for survival, not a taxonomic group.

Honorable mention shark fact: there are individual sharks that are alive today that were born before my country existed.

Best music fact gotta be that Dolly Parton wrote "Jolene" and "I Will Always Love You" on the same car trip. She was like driving by herself and wrote this song- can you imagine being in that car? And extra good fact because it contains the surprise fact that yeah, Dolly Parton wrote "I Will Always Love You."

Second fiddle to that though, has to be original lyrics to "Yesterday" by the Beatles. [singing] "Scrambled eggs / Oh my baby how I love your legs / Not as much as I love scrambled eggs / Oh we should eat some scrambled eggs". It's like they wrote the Weird Al version of their own song first.

Best movie fact: I'm sorry, just Viggo broke his foot, I know we all know it, but Viggo broke his foot!

Speaking of feet though, this one blew my mind: the majority of the bones in the human body are in the hands and feet. Unless the person is pregnant, in which case the majority of the bones in the human body are in the uterus. Because babies have more bones than adults. Look, I don't like it either.

Which leads to a broader category of fact that I really like, which is facts that are definitely true even though they definitely seem not true, like that the average person has an above average number of legs.

Other facts in this category include the fact that you were once the youngest person on earth. And that every day, there is a person who has the biggest poo, but they will never know it was them. 
I like this one a lot, the second largest purchaser of explosives in the U.S. is the happiest place on Earth.

And speaking of explosions, if the Earth-Moon system survives the expansion of the sun into a red giant, which like, it might not. But if it does, then like 60 billion-ish years after that happens, the Moon will crash into the Earth and destroy whatever was left here. So it's coming at us from all angles, like space is a dangerous place on long-time scales.

Gotta throw one history fact in here, and it's gotta be that is a chance that Charlemagne was killed by his tablecloth, which was made of asbestos, and he loved it because he could clean it by throwing it into a fire.

John, our second-to-last fact is the best fact, as voted by people who clicked the "like" button on the tweet. And it is that Arctic comes from the Greek word for "near the bear" and thus Antarctic kinda means "not near the bear," and there are no bears in Antarctica and there are lots of them in the Arctic!

But I have to add an addendum fact to this, because this is not why we named them this, it's a coincidence. The Arctic is "near the bear" because of Ursa Major, the constellation in the sky above the Arctic. The bear that the Arctic is near is barely a bear at all. It's a dipper.

But John, the number one fact in my judgment, the one that I liked the most because I did not know it, and I have believed the lie my whole life, is that fingers don't get pruney because, like the water absorbs the oils out of them. Or whatever you've been told your whole life.

Because if nerves to the fingers get cut, they don't get pruney anymore. It's not a physical reaction, it's a neurological one. Our bodies are intentionally making our fingers wrinkly, probably so that we don't slip when we're in the water. Why didn't anybody tell me this? Who was going to tell me?

Everybody, thank you for sending in facts on Twitter. John, congrats on the book release. And I'll see you on Tuesday.

[singing]  "Scrambled eggs / Oh my baby how I love your legs"