Good morning,  Hank, it's Tuesday. It's actually not Tuesday, but it will be in the fullness of time. It is, however, morning. Like, 5 'o'clock in the morning. And in a stunning turn of events, I find myself in an airport. 

(?~0:09)This is going to be like an old-school Vlogbrothers video, where I talk about my feelings a lot. I have a lot of feelings right now. Not really good feelings or bad feelings, just a lot of them. (?~0:16) So I'm on my way to Los Angeles, to promote the "Looking for Alaska" show, which comes out this Friday, or Saturday in some places, and I just got very anxious that TSA was going to look in my backpack, and ask me about these weird Pizza John Halloween masks.

(?~0:28)And I kept imagining these long conversations where I would try to explain the entire history of Pizza John, and how I came to have a Halloween mask of my own mustachioed face inside my backpack, but fortunately, I just got through TSA no problem.  (?~0:39)By the way, these are available at DFTBA.com if you are looking for a properly horrifying Halloween costume, but, I'm on a tangent.  (?~0:46)Okay, hold on, I have to go to Los Angeles.  (?~0:48)Greetings from the floor of a hotel room that is very near the interstate.(?~0:50) Right, so the Looking for Alaska show comes out of Friday or Saturday, and the reviews so far have been really good. (?~0:56)Vulture called it the rare adaptation that improves upon the original.

(?~0:59)Hypable said that the shows' commitment to the heart of the books makes for a wonderful experience for Green's fans and newcomers alike. 

(?~1:06)Now, I did not make the show, but I do remember just over two years ago waiting for the reviews of "Turtles All the Way Down" to come in with a constant overwhelming nausea, so I am happy and relieved for the people who did make the show. 

(?~1:18)Also, I've just seen the Netflix adaptation of "Let it Snow", a book wherein miracle Mareen Johnson and I wrote like, 11 years ago, and the movie is so sweet, and heartwarming, and lovely, and the cast is amazing. (?~1:29)It comes out on November 8th on Netflix,(?~1:32) and the other thing that is happening right now is the forthcoming announcement of our big project with Partners in Health Sierra Leon, which has a lot of moving parts, and is very exciting, but also very overwhelming. (?~1:42)For the last two years working with Partners in Health on this project in Sierra Leon has really given my life a sense of purpose and direction which has been a wonderful gift to me, but now, it is about to be announced that I am definitely feeling a little anxious.

(?~1:54)Then again, everything is making me feel anxious at the moment. I'm like a piano that had a lot of different keys, but only plays one note. Which brings me, belatedly, to the point.

(?~2:05)Or, at least, a point.  I used to think personality was stagnant. Like when I was young, I thought I was in the process of being formed over time, and then once adulthood hit, and the cement of my self dried, I'd become this unchanging thing. 

(?~2:19)And in some ways, this belief kind of comforted me, because I had so much emotional instability in my teens and twenties that I really craved that imagined changelessness of adulthood. 

(?~2:29)But that just hasn't been my experience of adulthood. I mean, I see the world very differently from how I did five or ten or fifteen years ago, even though I've been an adult that whole time. (?~2:39)There are lots of examples of this, but one is that even ten years ago, I mostly saw my anxiety as like, an embarrassing character weakness.  (?~2:48)And if I talked about it at all, it was usually to make fun of it, and by extension, to make fun of myself.

(?~2:53)But now, I understand my anxiety as part of a brain disorder that I have. (?~2:58)Which isn't my fault. Or, at least, I usually understand that.  (?~3:02)Maybe in the future, I will understand my anxiety differently.

(?~3:05)I don't know. I know that I am done growing up, but I hope that I am not done growing.  (?~3:10)Now, better understanding my anxiety is not really... like... reducing my anxiety. But... ah, I mean, I really want to have a "but" at the end of that sentence except I...I don't really have one right now. 
(?~3:23)Alright, I got one: But this is temporary, and I will be okay. And so will you.

(?~3:28)If there is one thing we know about the universe, it's that this is temporary. 

(?~3:33)Hank, I'll see you on Friday.