Hello and welcome to Wembley Stadium! The AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys are here to try to win the John Stones Paint Trophy. Here we are at Wimbly, rainy Wimbly. It's, in a stunning turn of events, raining in England, et cetera. Oh, but we have a great chance, our only chance this season, to take home some silverware. It's the John Stones Paint Trophy, a trophy that all the teams in the lower leagues compete for, and I'm very excited to try to win it, um, even though I am kinda starting my backup team today.

Um, today, in addition to celebrating - any occasion when we're at Wimbly stadium is special. I mean, for AFC Wimbledon, a club that got its start just over a decade ago by having open tryouts on Wimbledon Common, to be in a packed stadium of 90,000 people, and who could've imagined that. It's very special; we're all very grateful to be here. Um, so this may not be, you know... I guess maybe Manchester City wouldn't be that psyched about winning this trophy, but we wanna win it really, really badly. So we're gonna try to take it to Sheffield United today, and show them some Wimbly Wombly spirit, um, and see if we can win this game. We've got our attacking substitutions prepared for the second half, um, but the guys are just exhausted, so we'll see how it goes here.  

Um, hey, so I'm filming this in the distant past, but according to Meredith, for you, in your world, it is June 4th, which means that the movie of my book, The Fault in Our Stars, comes out in like two days if you are an American, and in like two months if you are Malaysian. Um, but no, it comes out in two days in many, many countries around the world, including the United States and Australia. I think it might already be out in Australia if it's June 4th. I don't even know! I hope you like the movie. I mean, it's weird right now, um, it's like April, it's May 1st right now I think, um, and it's so weird right now because I've seen the movie but you guys-

Oh! That should've been a goal! Ya Bamba get there! Oh, Ya Bamba. He's faster than that, that could've been our opening, beautiful goal. It's just pouring here at Wembley. Fortunately, they've got a nice pitch 'cause it's like the fanciest stadium in England. Um, but yeah, it's so weird to think that you guys are- OHHHHHHHHH!!! (singing) These boots were made for Strutton. And that's just what they'll do! And one of these days these boots are gonna score a goal on you. (spoken) C. Strutton. Strutton on the Ritz. Gettin' a goal. One-nil up. That much closer to hoisting some silverware aloft on this very special day. That's exciting; thank you. Great goal from Mr. Strutton.

Um, yeah, I just, I really hope you guys like the movie. I feel nervous in a way I haven't since the book came out. I mean, obviously the movie- it's not my movie. I didn't make it and, um, and I don't want to claim credit for it, but, um, I am really proud of it; I'm really proud of the work that everybody did on it and, um, I'm really proud of the result, and I hope you guys like it as much as I do.

I mean, I don't know a less objective observer than myself watching the movie, but I really liked it, and I felt like it, um, it was obvious that they cared a lot about the book, and, um, cared a lot about the story, and really worked hard to honor it. That goes for the cast, um, the amazing cast who've become great friends to me, um, from Laura Dern and Willem Dafoe and Sam Trammell to Ansel and Nat and Shailene, um, they're all such lovely people and really, you know, they did not do this movie for money, because they didn't make much. Um, they did it because they cared about the story and because it mattered to them, um, it mattered to each of them for a different reason but it really mattered to all of them.

Um, 'kay, guess what just happened? Guess what just happened?! We scored! We scored a goal! We scored a goal! (singing) These boots were made for Strutton. And that's just what they'll do! One of these days these boots are gonna score a goal on you. (spoken) Great assist, too, from Kaz. So, I've been hard on Kaz this season, because he's only 3 feet, 8 inches tall, and because he's nine years old, um, but he signed a professional contract in which he gets paid $4,000 a week, so I've been a little rough on him, and that hasn't been fair, and I apologize, Kaz. That was a really good assist. That was top-shelf, and suddenly we're two-nil up in the first half, with a great chance now to put our hands on that trophy.

And, uh, you know, obviously it's not a successful season... What? Did I commit a foul or was that offside? That was not a foul. Oh, prototypical ankle-hug. That's just two men coming together, wishing to express an interest in affection in each other, and then the referee misinterprets it. Typical. Oh! Seb Brown. Oh, and then a vintage Seb Brown throw. Right where you wanted it. Right where you wanted it. I'm so good at world-class skill level. Um, why don't they just pass, obviously I don't want to pass it out of bounds. Has there ever been a situation when a goalkeeper- that was not a good pass- where a goalkeeper wanted to do that. I don't think there has been.

Um, but yeah, I hope you like the movie. If you've seen it or you're going to see it, let me know when you're gonna see it in comments, and I'll be viewing them, I guess, in the future, when I'm on the road for the movie. Um, I'm actually leaving tomorrow, uh, May 2nd, and I'm not coming home, really, except for a couple days, until the movie basically comes out. So that's gonna be crazy. Um, that's why I've played all these Wimbly Wombly games in advance, so that we can still have Wimbly Womblys. Also, because it's a great way of me addressing my nervousness, and I'm pretty nervous these days.

Um, but I, yeah, I'm just, I'm so excited for people to actually see the movie, and also, like, scared. I'm scared because I want it to do well for all the people who made it and, um, you know, showed this huge commitment to a story that was not, you know, like the easiest movie to, like, make or market in the world. Um, usually, yeah. Yeah. So I'm just really excited and nervous. Um, I do genuinely, I mean, I hope you guys agree, but I think it's a very faithful adaptation. Like, I mean, most of the lines and dialogue in the movie are directly from the book. Um, most of the, you know.

I think the actors were huge fans of the book and it was really important to them that, um, that the movie would be faithful to the book, and in fact, in a couple cases, um, Shailene or Ansel would be like, "I think we should say it like we say it in the book." Um, so I think, you know, they're just, um, yeah. They're excited for it; I'm excited for it. I'm incredibly nervous, but I am really excited. Um, yeah, what else should I say about the movie, Meredith? Is there anything else that you think people wanna know about?

Oh God, I've been asked that question so many times! So you do these press junkets - I'm about to go do the meat of them but I've already done one. You do these press junkets and what happens- it's so strange, it's so surreal and not like real life. This whole thing is not like real life, and it's kind of- to be honest with you, it's not something I'm particularly good at or particularly enjoy. I think that we all think like "oh this would be so", I mean, I thought "oh, this would be so cool" and it is really cool in a lot of ways, and I'm very grateful for the friendships that have emerged from this.

But the press stuff and the getting my picture taken stuff? I'm just- really freaks me out. Um, but, yeah. So you do these press junkets where they ask you questions um, and you spend like five or ten minutes with each media outlet. They're very brief interviews, and they all ask the same. questions. So you answer the same questions over and over and over again. This is much worse for the actors than it is for me, because with me at least, the questions are like, fairly interesting questions.

But with Shailene and Ansel, I have been there a hundred and fifty times when they were asked "what's it like to go from playing brother and sister to playing boyfriend and girlfriend, because you were brother and sister in Divergent, and now you're boyfriend and girlfriend, that must have been weird". And they're like, they're very good about it, and they do not answer that question by flipping out the way that I answer the question by flipping out.

My answer to the question is: well here's an interesting fact. They aren't ACTUALLY brother and sister. If they were actually brother and sister, then yes it probably would be weird. But they're not actually brother and sister. Like, and what actors do is they imagine being someone they're not, and then they pretend to be that person! So, first, they imagined being brother and sister, then they imagined being in love! It turns out, that's possible! You can imagine being more than one person! That's the cool thing about human consciousness! So that's my answer (laughs).

Shailene and Ansel's answer is much, much more- much nicer. They're epically patient and nice, and good people. I am like a cranky old man. Ahhh, is there anything else you think people wanna know? Oh! Ohhhh. Kaz has been waiting for that goal for so long, that would have meant so much to him, but he didn't get it, because life is hard and full of disappointments.

Also, I still don't- there's so much I still don't know, so like, I would love to be able to announce things that might happen, or like by June 4th will have happened or not happened. But I can't, because I don't know if they're gonna happen yet, because everything in Hollywood happens at the last possible second. It's crazy! I mean it's just nuts. It's just so- this whole thing is so weird. Um.

Meredith, can you think of anything else? I do think the movie is good. I genuinely like it. (whispers) I hope people like it! Other people- like, whenever like, press have watched it, they've liked it. But then I get very nervous, I'm like, well if you guys- you guys are used to watching really bad movies, you know. Like, Die Hard 5 which is almost as bad as Die Hard 4 is good. How can a franchise contain both, you know, one of the best movies ever made and one of the worst. That's also true for Star Wars, I guess.

Um, alright. Anything else, Meredith? Am I missing anything? Is there anything I've failed to talk about, about the Fault in our Stars movie experience? Do- please go see the movie on opening weekend! It doesn't really count if you don't see it opening weekend, that's what I was told. Um. Oh, what am I gonna wear to the premiere? I've heard that I am going to like, be dressed in the same way I was for the MTV movie awards! So like, someone will give me an outfit that I will then have to give back. Which is kind of a bummer, 'cause I'd like to keep my premiere outfit, you know, so that I could wear it again, because I'm sure it would be nice.

Um, I do, I have one suit that is fairly nice, that I can wear in a pinch, in case they don't dress me. But if they dress me, yes, I will wear whatever they want me to. Um, so that'll be kind of fun! It's fun- I like getting- I don't wanna sound weird, but I like- I do- I find that I genuinely enjoy getting dressed up. It's one of the few things that I actually like about the whole fancy pants movie process. Um. So yeah! Um.

By the way Meredith, we are two minutes away from winning the John Stones Paint Trophy. Um, so I'd like to congratulate green eggs and Sheringham, these boots were made for Strutton, Kaz, all the guys on the field today. They don't get the same level of love that Bald John Green and Other John Green get, or Ya Bamba. You know, Seb Brown, the real heroes of our club, even Callum Kennedy. Like, you know, these guys, a lot of times they don't get that level of attention, and it's- that can be sad for them.

He's not offside! That should have been a great last goal! Oh, we did it! (singing) We are the champions, my friends! We did it! Sit in shame, sir! I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you had to lose, but there can only be one winner! And today, it's AFC Wimbledon. (singing) A F C Wimbledon, A F C Wimbledon!

The blue and yellow confetti falls along with the rain from the sky above Wembley Stadium. Ohhh, it's a beautiful day in South London, my friends. I'm sure that everyone back home who isn't in the stadium, I mean, it looks like we brought everybody with us, but anybody back home is celebrating. Look at that, the beautiful fireworks, now we salute you!

Thank you for your support! Thank you for standing with a club owned by you, its supporters, we love you! This is our moment this year. We probably aren't going to win league one, we probably- we definitely aren't going to win anything else. But there we get our indoor fireworks because we won the John Stones Paint Trophy. Oh, it's a beauty!

Bald John Green, you didn't play in the game, but he made sure to get down there. He likes that pose, Meredith. Did you ever notice that?  He likes to be like, "yeahhhh!" He likes that. It's a good pose for him.

We did it! We won! And Charlie Strutton, these boots were made for Strutton, with our highest player rating - 8.4 - congratulations to him, to all the Wimbly Womblys on a fantastic performance. A great run in the John Stones Paint Trophy.

I hope you like the TFIOS movie! Let me know! I'm sure you'll let me know- yeah, I hope it's good, please see it opening weekend. Bye! Best wishes!