Hello and welcome to Hankgames without Hank. My name is John Green, I'm the manager of the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys who are at the Emirates Stadium taking on Arsenal football club. It's a quiet stadium. Arsenal fans more known for their intellectualism than their emotional engagement, but we're still very excited to be here. This is a massive, massive game. Our third to last Premier League game. The third to last Premier League with both John Greens. "John Greens, John Greens, Bald and Other John Greens, the best forwards that Wimbledon has ever seen!"

One of them will be retiring to take care of their son JJ at the end of this season, they're going to make that decision in the off season who it's going to be. Gosh! It's exciting and very, very nerve wracking because as you're about to see the table is tight! We need to finish in the top 4 of the, of the Barclays Premier League this year to go to the Champions League so that next year we can play the likes of, you know, Real Madrid, Barcelona.It's a huge, huge money maker for the team. Dicko's our captain. Here is the table, we are in 4th, Liverpool is in 3rd two points ahead of us. Manchester City, one point behind us. It is tight, super, super tight! So we're just going have to do our best. That's all I can say, like we just, this is a game that is very difficult to win. We're playing Arsenal away from home. They're one of the best teams in the world, but we're going to do our best.

We've got Dicko and Deeney, they're a bit of an odd couple, starting up front. John McClean from the great film Die Hard as well as Correa, Correa and Less Moore which in my opinion is just the right amount of Moore. Francombstein who is a doctor not a monster and then our back line, we've got Röcker, I believe he's in the game today. As well as Ozéa, Ozéa. I'm really into this Hips Don't Lie song by Shakira from 7 years ago. Alright, Meredith, today we're going to find out if I'm more like Quentin or Margo from Paper Towns. Paper Towns movie comes out July 24th, you're watching this from the future so July 24th is relatively soon! Gosh, I hope you go opening weekend!

I'm just going to say it, it doesn't do me a ton of good for you to go really anytime other than opening weekend so, I hope you go opening weekend and that you really like the movie. Talk to all of your friends about it and make them go opening weekend as well. No reason you can't see it twice in one weekend! That's what I always say! Uh, so yeah, I am, I... I mean I am, I still haven't seen the finished movie with like music and stuff, but man I'm so proud of it and I hope you guys like it as much as I do. I'm so grateful to Jake Schreier for making such a great movie and, uh, yeah. I think it's going to be, I think it's really good. 

But I'm going to find out if I'm more like Quentin or Margo according to BuzzFeed. Quentin is the narrator of Paper Towns who is kinda based on me. Margo is the character in Paper Towns who's kind of based on all of the girls that I romanticized and, and dehumanized via putting on a pedestal when I was in high school. So, we'll see what BuzzFeed thinks of me. What's my first question, Meredith?

Which fictional high school? First off let me just say that I am, my pulse is probably 130 right now and not because of the question of whether I'm Quentin or Margo, but because I want to finish in the top 4 so bad. It would be game changing for this, for this football club to suddenly have, you know, tens of millions of dollars in transfer funds instead of, you know, a fraction of that. This is... God, this is a huge game. I mean, it's just, ah! I mean, I guess a tie is catastrophic, but not like... A loss is, what's worse than catastrophic?  What's like, what's the bigger... supercalifragilistic-strophic?

I know you guys hate it when I pass across the face of goal like that. I know, I'm sorry, but I'm just, I'm a passer our of the backer. It's who I am. I hit you in the face! What's my first question? Oh, fictional high school, what fictional high school would I attend? Do I have any options or do I just have to pick one? Degrassi, no I don't even really know what that is. I know that Drake was on that program, I'm a big Drake fan. Mean Girls North Shore, not really. John Adams from Boy Meets World, probably. 

You know the things is, like, Paper Towns was, the movie, is an attempt to like, kind of, you know, like claim that all American high schools are more complicated than any of these fictional high schools, but I'm probably going to go with John Adams. Yeah, okay what else or is that it? How would my friends describe me? Well Meredith I think of you as a friend. Admittedly a friend I pay to be my friend, but still a friend. But to be fair I pay most of my friends to be friends with me. Would you describe me as... hopeful? I am famed for my hopefulness! 

Wow, that pass infuriated real FIFA, real FIFA fans. That's not a bad ball. That is not a bad ball! That is not a bad ball! Get there Deeney! Ah! Deeney! Deeney. That was a great Wimbly Wombly, vintage Wimbly Wombly counter attack. Deeney goes near post. Oh it's frustrating. Hold on, Meredith, let me try to get this corner kick and that's not bad! Not bad! Oh! Oh, and then it's a great clearance by Arsenal. They are a wonderful football club. Okay, no! Anywhere but there! Guys, focus and attention! Focus and attent... Oh no.

Ah, he got there, he got there! It's pure courage. Pure courage! Nope, not a good pass, probably should've hit the X button there. Probably should have hit the X button! Ah! Everything worked out better than expected! Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh Gd. Where are we Meredith? What's happening? How do my friends describe me, not hopeful. Any other adjectives? Mysterious? I wonder if that's Margo. Adventurous? Persistent? Hopeful? I'm really none of these things. I guess I'm persistent. Uh, yeah. That's going to be a Q trait. 

I don't like the idea that like Q is rewarded in this quiz for his persistence, which is, the whole point of it is that he's not being persistent, he's being obsessive, but okay. Move on. Which car would I take on a road trip? Is one of the options a Honda minivan? That's a surprise. I know this story pretty well. You know. I'm so, I feel, yeah. I feel like I'm kind of able to cheat on this quiz because I'm pretty familiar with the plot of the book and the plot of the movie stays pretty close to the book. 

Oh come on guys! Ah, Dicko, Dicko. Right now set up for a standard Wimbly Wombly nil - nil draw. Couple of good opportunities, Deeney had a one on one with the keeper. The Arsenal as well had some good opportunities, but it's the 45th minute, Meredith remember you've gotta tell me when to make substitutions here. Now? You think? Really? Alright. Oh God, that's good. No! He's offside. Alright I'll make the substitutions. Who are we bringing on? Oh you, no, I mean you get in trouble if you make substitutions too early too. 

You want to take off Less Moore? Alright, who are we going to bring on though? Hells Pells? Or the Gaulden Child? The Gaulden Child did score a goal in the last game. It's up to you though. Gaulden Child? Alright. Anybody else you want to take off? No, alright okay. We're trusting Meredith. One substitution at a time, it's not the Wimbly Wombly way, but if you think it's the best thing to do, that's what we're going to do. What's my next question? Oh, what kind of car I would take on a minivan, on a road trip? What are my other options? 

A truck? A convertible, oh God really? A regular car? It's just like, oh it's pictures. Well I mean the truth is that like when I was in high school I would, I would go in a minivan and a regular car like a sedan. I always went on it 'cause I had a, I had an old Volvo. You know those old boxy square Volvos? You probably don't. You don't remember that boxy square Volvo, the Volvo 240? It's my first car. Of all the, of all the physical spaces that have ever smelled like cigarette smoke, it smelled the most like cigarette smoke. 

It's to Dicko! Dicko, Dicko, Dicko! Dicko, Dicko! Oh Dicko. God, that's frustrating. Golly gee that was almost a goal. And can you imagine how the Wimbly Wombly away supporters would have gone absolutely bananas if that had happened. You're offside, you're offside, you're offside but shoot the ball anyway. You're offside. Any, it doesn't matter, he still couldn't score even 3 yards offside. Alright what's next? My crush walks up to me and says hi, that's plausible. What do I do? I mean I probably, I'd probably play it pretty cool by saying hi back. Okay, yeah and probably... I'm a straightforward person in that respect.

Like, I mean I don't... I guess I don't... Oh. Ohah! The goalkeeper makes a huge mistake and we can't capitalize! Oh! 67 minutes in, are we going to rue that moment for the rest of this season?! Oh my God! Oh, geez, geez, geez, geez Louise. I don't know why I've been saying geez Louise so much lately. It's my new thing, I don't like it. I don't think it's a charming or, yeah. I'd probably just say hi back though. What else are you going to say, something weird? You're going to look down at your phone? No, no. Give them a hug? I'm not a hugger, not to my crushes.

I feel like... did you know that the first frontal hug that, with a member of the opposite sex that, that, that the Duggar woman ever enjoyed was on her wedding day? I mean I've had, I was just thinking last night, like I've probably frontally hugged, I mean maybe a thousand women, not to brag. I'm like the Wilt Chamberlain of frontal hugging. Do you know who Wilt Chamberlain is? Alright, great. No, it's fine, it's good, it teaches me the references I can't make. Anyone watching this video know who Wilt Chamberlain is by chance?!

I'm bringing on the John Greens, Meredith whether you like it or not. I think they're our best chance to win. Nobody cares about finishing in the top 4 more than the John Greens. Look at them, look at those beautiful married men. They love each other and they love our team! Oh gosh, okay. Do we know if I'm Quentin or Margo yet? 3 more questions? Alright go fast. What are the options? Nah, never liked that one that much, I think it's... "The town was paper but the people weren't"? Eh, that was or "the memories weren't"? Eh, eh, give me another one. 

Yeah I love that one! "It's easy to forget our world, how full the world is, full to bursting with people you must imagine whether you want to or not." Yeah I like that one. Yeah. Which song is my jam? Uptown Funk. It's going to give it to ya. By Bruno Mars and Mark Ronson. That's not on there, what do you mean? That is my jam though. What are the options? No. Maybe. Eh, I think The Smiths are a little over rated to be totally honest with you. Oh yeah, Just a Friend by Biz Markie for sure, for sure, for sure, for sure. Yeah I love Biz Markie. 

Do we know if I'm Quentin yet? I am Quentin, or this quiz is a lie. If my friend hurt me how would I seek revenge? I mean... Oh God! Oh no! Wow! Oh Jesus, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Our season almost just fell apart in that moment, Meredith. Crimmie. Um, yeah. Probably the old, the old fish in the... That's something I really did, put a fish in somebody's drawer. Yeah, clothing drawer, yeah to make all their clothes smell like fish. Oh we won in the last second! What? What, what?! What?! Oh no! Oh God! I'd already celebrated! 

Am I Quentin or Margo? I'm Quentin! That's something at least. I'd already celebrated, oh my God, I'd already celebrated. I'd seen, we saw the top 4 flash before our eyes. Oh no. Alright, I... Oh God. Oh. I can't, I don't even know how to recover to try to score in the last minute here. I mean, oh that's the end of the game. I saw it, I saw the top four. I feel like crying. Oh. Oh, at least, you know. Quentin you have a lot to learn. I still have a lot to learn as a FIFA player and as a man and as a manager. Okay, we got 2 games left. All we can do is, all we can do is win the games that are in front of us. Thank you for watching. I'm sorry that I sound so sad. I really care about this, I'm so, I really thought we had it, Meredith. Anyway, thanks for watching, thanks for supporting the Wimbly Womblys. Best Wishes.