Lizzie: So last night I was invited to dinner at Ms. de Bourgh's house. Actually, it's more like a compound. A lot of space for one woman and her little asthmatic dog. Lydia could sock slide in that place forever. But, one good thing did come out of it.

My name is Lizzie Bennet, and I made a new buddy.

[intro plays]

Lizzie: So as you heard in my last video, I met Darcy's friend and associate Fitz. And long story super short... we're lunching. I haven't told him about these videos yet because... I guess... cause that would make things sort of complicated.

Fitz: [as he walks down hallway and sticks his head in the door] Lizzie B! I hope you're ready for the best Ethiopian food... oh, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt.

Lizzie: No, that's okay! 

Fitz: [entering and sitting] Does Collins have you doing another one of the, uh, Better Living "This is How You Eat A Sandwich" videos?

Lizzie: Uh um, uh, no, this is a personal video. For me.

Fitz: Oh, like a vlog! What do you talk about? And more importantly, can I be on it?

Lizzie: Uuuhhhh... o-kay. Uh, under one condition. You can't watch any of the earlier videos, at least not while I'm here.

Fitz: Uh-

Lizzie: And do NOT tell Darcy!

Fitz: Okay, that's two conditions.

Lizzie: I just, I say some not-so-nice things about him.

Fitz: Oh really?

Lizzie: Seriously, you CAN'T.

Fitz: .... Okay I won't.

Lizzie: Thank you. I know he's your friend.

Fitz: He is my friend, and that's why I completely get it. The guy doesn't always make a good first impression, and he has the social skills of an agoraphobic lobster.

Lizzie: You DO know him well.

Fitz: I am a genius. Also, I am ready for my close-up.

Lizzie: Oh, I don't move the camera. Ever.

Fitz: Well then I'll just lean in like so. [leans towards camera]

Lizzie: Okay. Not weird. Uh, I was just telling the internet about last night. Does Ms. de Bourgh always bring that dog to the dinner table?!

Fitz: Yes! Listen, Anniekins can't do much on her own other than maybe wheeze and scratch herself bloody.

Lizzie: Gross.

Fitz: What about when we were talking about, the, um, remember the thing we-

Lizzie: Nononowaitwait! That's not how we do things here.

Fitz: ... How do we do things here?

[jump cut; Lizzie is dressed as Ms. de Bourgh. Fitz is himself.]

Fitz: Lizzie. Writing- [Lizzie points him to act as if he's talking to her, in the other direction. Fitz turns his body.] Lizzie. Writing a business plan isn't that different than a grad paper. You build a case, trying to convince-

Lizzie: [as Ms. de Bourgh] What are you two talking about over there?

Fitz: We're talking about writing.

Lizzie: [as de Bourgh] What sort of writing?

Fitz: Well, Lizzie's going to have some big papers for grad school and I'm telling her about business plans. [he stops and looks up from his script] That's exactly what I said. How do you, how do you remember these things?

Lizzie: [as herself] I forget nothing. [as Ms. de Bourgh] Yes, it's important to have a clear and concise plan. My first business plan was to become someone who builds, and invests. Isn't that right Anniekins?

Fitz: That impression was uncanny.

Lizzie: Okay, fine, well now it's your turn.

Fitz: For what?

Lizzie: Think you can be Darcy?

Fitz: CAN I BE DARCY?!

[jump cut; Fitz is now wearing the Darcy newsie cap and bow tie.]

Lizzie: [as Ms. de Bourgh] How is your sister Georgiana getting on?

Fitz: [as Darcy] Quite well. She's now nationally ranked in tennis.

Lizzie: [as Ms. de Bourgh] Oh splendid, splendid! It was so unfortunate when she gave up swimming!

Fitz: [as Darcy] It's for the best. She wished to focus her accomplishments.

Lizzie: [as Ms. de Bourgh] Such a work ethic! Elizabeth, you should take note. You girls are MUCH too prone to time-wasting.

Fitz: [as Darcy] My sister certainly doesn't engage in time-wasting activities.

[jump cut, both are out of costume]

Lizzie: I think you had more fun with that than I did.

Fitz: Well, what is life if you can't have a little fun? Am I right, Lizzie B? You know what, you should meet Gigi.

Lizzie: Why, so I can feel inferior to her practically perfect accomplishments?

Fitz: No, because she is a cool kid. And I think you two will like each other.

Lizzie: Cause I get along with her big brother so well?

Fitz: Okay, we need to talk about this for a second. How was he when you first met him?

Lizzie: Are you sure you want to hear this? It's not pretty... Okay. I first met Darcy at a wedding. During the reception, while everyone was being social and having a great time, he spent the entire night lurking in the corner on his phone fake-texting.

Fitz: Okay. C'mon, he talked to somebody.

Lizzie: Well, he talked to me.

Fitz: Oh, how'd that go?

Lizzie: Not... far.

Fitz: Okay, in his defense, I will say that he didn't know anyone, aside from his group.

Lizzie: And a wedding reception is a really difficult place to meet people.

Fitz: Touché, Lizzie B, touché. But please tell me that he at least danced with someone.

Lizzie: He.. did.

Fitz: Mmm, yes he did. And he might not have the sickest game, but I can tell you right now that girl is remembering his smooth moves. She's glossing over it right now.

Lizzie: She... ha ha ha, she remembers.

Fitz: Yeah, that's my boy, that is my boy! Okay listen, I've gotta return this message, so meet me down in ten because it is time for tacos!

Lizzie: What, I thought we were having Ethiopian?

Fitz: We are having Ethiopian, but I couldn't think of a dish that started with t, so, you know, I wanted to alliterate and it-

Lizzie: Tibs?

Fitz: TIBS! Euuhh! [leaves]

Lizzie: Fitz, ladies and gentlemen. And now for some tibs!

[outro plays]