Questions about masturbation please! Woof.

[Intro]

"Would you please debunk the most common myths you've heard about masturbation?" Like: Sex replaces masturbation, and if you're in a relationship you shouldn't have to masturbate? Here's the debunking: no, no, this is not the truth. Sex adds to masturbation; masturbation adds to sex. Both ebb and flow; both enhance the relationship. You needn't feel bad if you like masturbation, or if you prefer it to sex with your partner.

Myth number two: If I masturbate I'm going to pee. Yes - I get this one a lot. It’s probably not going to be the case. You're more likely going to female ejaculate, and if you're worried about which one it's going to be, play in the tub.

Number three - Even though there are many more masturbation myths, is that biosex females masturbate by putting their fingers in their vaginas, some do, but most don't. More masturbation happens on the outside - on the mons, the labia, and the clitoris. Toys are shaped like penises, so maybe you think penetration, but this is less often the case than what the myth suggests.

"Is it safe to use 'toys' at are not traditionally used for sexual pleasure?" It depends on what you're doing with them. If you're humping them? Okay. If you're putting them inside of you, watch out for sharp edges, make sure that they’re not leaching chemicals into body, clean them first, and don't put them in your anus.

"How do I encourage a woman close to me to explore herself sexually? She doesn't because of social stigma and the impressions about the effects of masturbation." Ask her if there's anything she'd like you to do, and respect her response. Anything outside of that is not your business.

"What do you tell people who have conflicts with masturbation and their religion? In your experience, is this a big problem among your clients?" Absolutely it's a big problem! One thing I like to teach is that Onan was not punished for masturbating, he was punished for not impregnating his older brother's widow.

"What is one thing you would like everyone to know about masturbation?" It's spelled with a "U".

"Is it okay to masturbate multiple times in one day?" Yes, watch your intentions and context though.

"What long-term effects are there to constantly dry-dogging it?" Dry-dogging it? As in, masturbating without lubrication? Wrinkles.

"Is saliva a safe lubricant when masturbating?? If so, is there ever a condition in which saliva is not a good lube?" Yes…ish. There are pros and cons to consider. On the pro side, you have something water based, easily accessible, and free. On the cons side, I don't know the condition of your mouth or how your genitals are going to react to it.

"How much lube should I use?" A little bit more than enough.

"Is coconut oil safe for vaginas?" As far as we know. Sheri Winston does an amazing video on this, linked below.

"What other materials are okay with human genital contact?" Umm…one thing that I've learned is that it may be okay be for your body now, and then the reports come out and later it's not. I will tell you to put condoms on your toys, but even latex ones can cause allergies. Presently, 100% silicone, Pyrex glass, Lubrosity coated wood, and polyisoprene and polyurethane are body friendly. Presently.

"I seem to only be able to masturbate to orgasm when my body is in one of only a couple positions. Is this a thing?" Yes. Routine.

"What are some ways to make it feel different?" Stand, kneel, lie down, sit, right hand, left hand, roll over, jump, use furniture, change your pace, change the time of day, the setting, the temperature, add toys, play with water. Variations on masturbation in the comments: go!

"Is it possible to tease oneself?" Yes.

"Is it normal for someone unaccustomed to self-play to get absolutely to the edge of an orgasm and then the pleasure just stop?" Yes. It’s normal for someone accustomed to self-play for this to happen too. "Even if you persist?" Yes. Let masturbation or self-play as you call it be about exploration of your body, let it be about the sensations; it certainly doesn’t have to be about orgasm.

"I feel REALLY dirty and gross when I masturbate. How do I change this?" Take a shower. Nothing else about you is dirty or gross.

"How do you get more comfortable fingering yourself?" Take your finger out of your vagina, place it elsewhere on your vulva.

"Can you list off some masturbation techniques?" More?!? He can – Joseph Kramer has multiple videos on the subject. "Prostate massage?" Yep, he’s got a video on this too. Anal massage. A hundred and sixty minutes. Hands-on demos.

"Is it normal that touching myself I can orgasm quite quickly but it takes ages for a partner doing the same thing to even get me close?" Yes. "Even when they are doing the literally same thing as what I do alone?" Yes. Yes, yes. At least among researched women, more of them are orgasming from masturbation than they are from partner sex. Whatever your experience is, it’s yours. Your fantasies, your genitals, your refractory period, whether or not you’re multi- or serial orgasmic. It’s your unique sexuality.

"I don’t have interest in masturbating. Do you know why this might be?" There are many possible explanations. If you perceive it to be problematic, check with a medical provider. A leading cause of erectile difficulty and trouble orgasming is diabetes. More often the reasons are psychological, at which point you can check in with a clinical sexologist. Masturbation is an opportunity to explore your body. If it doesn’t feel good, knock it off, or check in with a med-doc.

"Do I need to use protection?" I’m a huge fan. I think it’s great when parents give boxes of condoms to their kids so that they are masturbating with them and constantly associating pleasure with protection. Toys of questionable materials also need to be covered in condoms. And for those of you beating up your labia with your fingernails:  use gloves. It’s simple. Yes, protection.

There are links to more information on masturbation in the doobly-doo. I hope you use these resources to get your questions answered. I also hope you remember to put in the comments your variations on masturbation. Stay curious.