Good morning, John. 

I'm working on a new thing, because, you know, I didn't have enough to do. I'll tell you a little bit about it, though you already know. 

Very basically, it is a conversation podcast. I figured the world simply does not have enough of those. But because that's a pretty broad thing, I was recently writing down a bunch of the kinds of questions I would like to ask people to kind of define the space around what I'm trying to make here. It turns out, there's just lots of kinds of interview podcasts. And I was trying to figure out do I ask, "What was it like doing this in your career?" kind of questions, or more like, "What do you think we're doing here on Earth?" kinds of questions.  Or should I be asking, "How do we go about being a person?" kinds of questions. And I really like that last kind of question. 

It's a lot of what we do here on Vlogbrothers. It's a lot of what we do here, existing as people on the Earth.  And when I was thinking of having you on as my first guest, which I think is what we're gonna do, I wrote down the question that is the title of this video. 

"How do you create when you don't feel safe?" 

And I know that this is an important question in John Green-land, because I know that you are very creative, and that you often do not feel safe. Like, the internet at this moment is like a hard place to feel safe.  It's fairly common for someone to be absolutely ripped to shreds for doing something fairly innocuous.

I mean, just think of Rebecca Black's Friday. It was one of the biggest cultural moments in internet history, and it was, at least in part, about mocking a 13-year-old girl.

I know it is scary out here.  I have experienced the stress. Creating in public is volunteering to be misunderstood. It is volunteering to be decontextualized and raked over the coals. I have advised pretty much every public figure I respect and who is my friend on how to handle their own surprise blow-ups. They happen a lot, and they can be very surprising. Sometimes I'm like, "Yeah, well, I was playing with fire. I got burned." Whereas, other times, I'm like, "Oh, I thought I was playing a fun little game with a nice little toy," and it turns out that that can also burn you. 

But this question is, of course, about more than the internet. Feeling safe in creating has always been hard. That's not new. I remember the first time I got notes back from an editor on a magazine article I had written, and they'd basically red-lined three-quarters of the piece. I remember doing readings of my work in public. Even now, when I'm working very hard on something, I'm not really worried about internet effects all the time. Sometimes I'm worried about it just not being received well, like it's not gonna get views, or it's not going to get good reviews, or like people are going to feel like I'm a try-hard and being kind of cringe. This is especially true of things that I spend a ton of time on.

Like I'm working on a book; it's been years that I've been working on this book. I'm worried about that very differently than I am about this YouTube video. Super-freaking scary to create - aha - for a bunch of different reasons. And I feel like there's a few different ways you can deal with this. Like, of course, you can just create less. That's one of the things. But for many people, I don't think that's a real option.

So what you could do is one, you could choose to create in safer spaces, at least at first - like you can iterate in the safe spaces. And this is a great thing to do: I did this a ton, you know, and sometimes it would still feel dangerous and unpleasant, but it was safer than just tossing it out into the world. The safest place is to just do it in private and have yourself be your only audience, which is, of course, what drafting is about. But then, there's writer's retreats, there's groups of friends that you can trust to be both honest and kind. I mean, if you're lucky enough to have that, that also feels rare these days. But also, when it comes to a lot of the creation I see, there are some other options people are taking. 

So, you could choose to create in safer ways where the risk just feels less risky, so it's not about taking as many chances. It's more like painting by the numbers. You let the AI write your script for you, and then if people don't like it, it's the AI's fault. You watch the videos from the people who tell you how to construct for success, and then you just sort of do that.

You also define success in ways that are both achievable and objective. Like me, defining "good" by the number of views. I don't really have to worry about whether it might be bad if the number that defines "good" is right there in front of everybody.  You can also do a bunch of stuff to try and avoid the dangers. Like you could avoid the things that have burned you in the past. You could be less open. You can be more ruthless and sharp. You can look less vulnerable, and people will attack you less. You could be more of a jackass, and people will be like, "Well, that's kind of okay that he's just a jackass, 'cuz he's a jackass." 

I think a lot of people acting badly on the internet - I'm avoiding bad words here - are doing that in part because they don't feel safe, like they've turned themselves into a bit of a caricature of a person, who it makes no sense that you would attack them because they're obviously beyond that. Y'know, I think they turn themselves into that for their own personal safety. It's kind of cowardice. It's like being too afraid to be open, so you turn into this hard shell of mean... (laughs) It's hard not to say the words I'm trying to say here.

I see more and more people on some spectrum of these options. But there is another option, and it's hard, and you have to balance it with other stuff. Like nobody takes this option a hundred percent, but it's the hardest one, and I think that it is rare, not that the internet can be so cruel, and the landscape is both crowded and jaded, and it's just to be brave. 

Real creativity is so harshly constrained by the ruthlessness of our current information environment, but sometimes you can create and know that a lot of people are going to see that as an opening for them to make their video about how you're actually a bad guy, and you just do it anyway. 

John, I'm very glad to collaborate with you because I think that you are often brave, and I think that that is a huge part of your success. Now, I don't think that you're recklessly brave; I think that you're carefully brave. And that's good because I think that it can be easy to be brave and then actually do something harmful. I think it can be easy to be brave and then get yourself in a lot of trouble that you can never get yourself out of. I think that you put yourself out there in an open way that says, "Yeah, the arrows will stick in. You can shoot them. But that's not really me all the way down, so the arrows will never really get to me. They're going to hurt, but they're never gonna kill me." 

But I actually don't know what you would say in answer to this question. And so, perhaps, we will save it for the podcast, and this will be promo for that new thing. Though this is terrible promo because it's not a place you can go subscribe yet. It's months away from launching. Maybe not. Maybe a month and a half. I don't know. I do know that this promo is too early to be strategically well-timed. But who cares about strategically well-timed?

John, I will see you on Tuesday. 

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Hey, those of you who stuck around to the end of the episode, you know that the Maternal Center of Excellence has opened, and you know that it was funded in part by the stuff from good.store.

Right now, we have opened up the Awesome Socks and Awesome Undies Club. You can get your first pair of socks, or underwear, or both for 50% off with the coupon code "SHAREAPAIR"

I really do. If you haven't tried the underwear yet, they are by far my favorite underwear that I have, and I'm ruthlessly culling all of the underwear that I used to have, and I'm like, "These are worse!" I'm so mad when I run out of the Awesome Undies.  But also, the socks are very fun. It's also fun to have matching socks and underwear. So, it's the coupon code "SHAREAPAIR". I'll put a link in the description. 

And then also, if you've been procrastinating joining the Mola Cult, if you know what that is. It doesn't matter if you don't. But if you have been, I think you've maybe got four hours left as of the upload of this video before that gets taken down. So do with that what you will. 

And try to create, and also, sometimes you're just creating for yourself and that is the safest place to do it. And you learn a lot in that place, especially if you exactly the right kind of critic of your own work, which is hard. It's hard. I think that that's one of the most important creative skills to develop: to be a good critic of your own work, because that's... it's just so much of the work gets done in that space where you're the only audience and it's surprising that even there - even there - it's pretty unsafe. You can be -- I can be a pretty harsh critic of my own stuff, and I know many people who are much harsher critics of their own stuff than I am. 

Alright. Well, my mouth still tastes like garlic, because this time, yesterday, I ate a whole raw clove of garlic for a reason that you'll someday find out. And I cannot believe that it's still -  I still taste - I've brushed my teeth so many times. I looked this up. It's not because I missed a piece. It's because it gets into your blood, and then it evaporates out of your lungs. So, you just have to wait!