I remember when I told her I was starting to date, she said, "Please write a book." I I see so many women your age who think they can't leave, who think they can't start over, who think they can't date.

And when I tell you my f I date have dated so much that one of my friends, actually one of the guys I date, he sent me a it might have been a TikTok about cougar puberty. I said, "Oh my god, that's so me." Like literally, because I didn't date that way when I was in my 20s.

I mean maybe I had a couple of boyfriends before I got married but then um so when I tell you >> I discovered the center for sex positive culture in Seattle and so I joined and here's what I want to tell you about sex bases >> center for what is it >> sex positive culture it is a so there are classes you could join online um and it's based in Seattle and they have parties and some of them are kink based some of them are rope you can get tied up and learn how to tie you can uh there's hypnosis you could take sex hypnosis or erotic they don't call it sex hypnosis they call it erotic hypnosis um so it is a sex positive space that is deeply progressive and what I love about sex positive spaces is it's consent culture it is based >> one I would I here's what I'll tell you if I and I don't usually go to bars that's not my thing but if I went to bars I would never go home with a human that I met at a bar because it is not premised on consent consent culture the way places that are intentionally ally um sex positive and sex progressive. They are consent culture based and that is something that is missing from the general population. And so one of the great things about Unitarian Universalism is we have a program called our whole lives and it is a um program that is lifespan but you could take it at different ages and they're all age appropriate and there's an older adult adult one for over 50 and you're learning things that especially if you didn't have we're a very sexually unhealthy society very and that's pretty global I mean um but um this teaches about consent about human relationship ships about how to talk to each other.

That's the other thing I love about um especially being in in a polycool or being um in sex positive spaces in dating is how to talk to each other frankly about what you want, what makes you feel good, what you don't want. And you know when through my dating life and as I've it's been five years now, you know, I date men and they're like, "Wow, you're so expressive and you tell me what you want. I love that." I'm like, "Yeah, you should,