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In which John talks about One Direction. The Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers play Chelsea.

Follow us on Twitter: @SwindonSwoodily
Hello, and welcome to Hankgames without Hank, where we are here at Stanford Bridge, the Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers facing Chelsea Football Club, the reigning champions of Europe in the real world, but um, here, in uhh, 2019 or whatever, the uh, Chelsea's in like 5th. So, we're in 2nd, we should win this game, they're better than us on paper, but these games aren't played on paper, they're played in our hearts.

Uh, today I'm going to talk about One Direction. Because you wanted me to talk about that. I'm gonna tell you everything that I know about One Direction, and also my feelings about their movies? Music? Acting? Uhh, but first let me bring you an update on the Swindon Town Swoodilypooper squad, French the Lalalalalana is in in in in injured, but uh, only out for a few days, so out on the wing today we have S. Holden Goalfield and then twice as Weiss um anchoring our defense is Mark Anderson the founder of Netscape and Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers goalkeeper and up front as always John Green and his beautiful husband John Green.

Umm, so alright first off my general feeling about One Direction because I know I mean you know you guys probably want me to review them so my feeling is like I am in favor of One Direction. The problem with multiple directions or a lack of direction is that you don't always, it's possible that you can just be traveling in a circle. You know like, you don't even know really if you're going anywhere, if you're traveling in more than one direction. On the other hand, if you travel in one direction for too long, you end up right back where you started but in a way that's kind of beautiful right? I mean you know that's sort of the whole you got to leave to go home issue umm which I think is very interesting.

So, I am in favor of one direction I think it's much better then multiple directions or lack of directions or you know sort of umm ill considered whether there's a direction involved at all. I think, of all the options one direction seems to be the best. It's the best option. So like we've established that.

What do I know about the band One Direction? Not a lot. So here we go. OHH OHHHHHHHH! Bald John Green opens the scoring and he gets hugged by his husband beautiful John Green. Oooh, bald John Green, John Green, upon his moustache we're keen, he gives it all for the team, bald John Green, John Green.
Oh that was a beautiful goal. But, the Swoodilypoopers have struggled all season that was an LEGAL TACKLE! That was a perfectly legal tackle. Oh, shmerg. Swoodilypoopers struggled giving up goals all season long. Oh nice punch by Mark Anderson. Four of four goals not found. MARK ANDERSON, MARK ANDERSON I needed you to come on. Dang it! Uhh Zhirkov, the guy's name is Zhirkov. I don't want to, I'm stating a fact. Umm right context is everything, all I did was say his name. I assume that FIFA 11 designers had some fun with that, look at his beautiful boots.

Alright, so it's tied 1-1. Uh, what do I know about the members of One Direction or the band itself? Umm, I know that one of their members is named, I believe his name is Niall. Umm, I don't know BALD JOHN GREEN OFHHHHH. I don't know the, I don't know and I believe that they are all over 18 so it's okay to umm to to ogle them, I guess. And I guess they are, they are handsome. Umm, I've I think I've seen pictures so I think that they have like gel in their hair.

Umm, and I know oh oh OH OH one of them I believe is named Harry Styles. And I don't, is that a stage name? Umm, cause it seems it seems like it would be but I dunno. (to someone), "do you know if that's his Christian name, Harry Styles?" Harry Edward Styles? Not even Harold? He was christened Harry Styles? I mean it sounds like a you know it sounds like a performer of a different variety.

But, umm yes one of them is named Harry Styles and I think I'm not 100% sure on this (someone) if you're gonna you’re my source of celebrity gossip so OH BOY that could have been bad, but it wasn't. Umm, I believe that Harry Styles is in a romantic entanglement with Taylor Swift, is that correct? And so (5:00)