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In which John Green sings the Crash Course intro song, is interrupted by quite possibly the loudest truck in all existence, and attempts to pronounce the most difficult word in the history of words - which is apparently "misanthropy."
JOHN: Hi, I'm John Green. This is Crash Course Literature and today we're gonna continue - no. S***! I am the - oh, God!

JOHN: This is gonna take 150 takes, that's my prediction.

JOHN: Are you concerned?
JOHN: What are you concerned about?
UNKNOWN: This wheel.
JOHN: Oh yeah, with good reason. I'm also - I'm also nervous. Everything will be fine.

JOHN: Well, I know. I know you'll mess up. There's no concern - that's 100%. So we're - but they're used to that, Mark. They haven't seen anything else.

JOHN: If Mark - I don't - I don't like to say this, it doesn't bring me any joy, but you are technically closer to your mark than Meredith. I'm not happy about it.

JOHN (stands): Are you kidding? You f***ball! That was, like, the best one ever! Wow!

JOHN: Do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do. I do remember it! All right.

JOHN: It sounds echo-y. Even to me.

JOHN: I love to talk loud, Stan.
STAN: I know. You're strident.
JOHN (laughs)

JOHN AS ME FROM THE PAST: Mr. Green, Mr. (clears his throat) - Mr. Green, Mr. Green! No.

JOHN: So Jem - no. F***.

JOHN: So Scout and Jem are concerned about the whereabouts of their father - nope.

JOHN: So Jem - (clears his throat)

JOHN: Queen Victoria called it really - (laughs)

JOHN: "Miss Maudie's hand closed tightly on mine, and I said nothing. Its warmth was enough." Was that too much of a pause? A little too much?

JOHN: I also think Gatsby treats alcohol cheaply. For the record.

JOHN: That's how professors stay employed. I'm just kidding, professors. You stay employed because of tenure. No, I'm just kidding again. Please don't hate me!

JOHN: With a biga thist - a thist from acena?

JOHN: But when it comes to the sacred space of one's church, Calporn - Calpornia.

JOHN: Quote "led a dottest" - a dottest mubble?

JOHN: It is an autobioGRAPH - an autobioGRAPHy. Go f*** yourself, San Diego.

JOHN: Children - chillen killing par - chilling. Chilling killing paring - all right.

JOHN: It IS an autobiog - an autobiography. ****.

JOHN: Let's go to the Thought - heh heh heh. Still can't say it.

JOHN: Oh wait, I don't know what I'm saying. Panic! Panic! Panic!

JOHN: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's f****** hilarious. All right, all right, all right.

JOHN: (Car noise in the background) That was quite loud. Loud pipes save lives.

JOHN: Funshine Bear wants to kiss me. It's weird. He's got his mouth all pursed and - I'm into it. (Kisses Care Bear.)

JOHN: Plutarch's lives in Paradise Lost. He's better-read than I am. Plutarch. Plutarch - why did I do that?

JOHN: Because you need someone to say, "Good night, sweet prince, and may angels sing thee to thy rest - " what is it? (Mumbles incoherently.) Basically -

JOHN: Um. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

JOHN (shivers): Anyway. (Shivers.)

JOHN: That wasn't my best work.

JOHN: Or is it in fact heroic to fact-check information - fact-check. Fact-check information that you get from a ghost before killing someone. Fact-check. Fact-check. Fact-check.

JOHN: It is irrevenant. It comes back. What is "irrevenant"?

JOHN: Time Magazine concurred that the book - concurred. Said. Nothing wrong with "said." Big believer in "said."

JOHN: Except when it came from Macbeth. To Macbeth. I mean, except when it came from Macbeth. TO Macbeth! F***nuggets.

JOHN: With a pathographical record of the typical modes of - frickburgers.

JOHN: Was a very loud truck. God, that's the loudest truck that's ever happened in all of human history.

JOHN: I don't think any writer's ever benefited from an opium addiction. I'm just gonna go there.

JOHN: So Shakespeare based Hamlet on a medieval scandal - medieval? So - so Shakespeare based Hamlet on a medieval - medieval? What the **** am I saying? Mid-evil?

JOHN: Oh, that's a very long quote.

JOHN: "It is an utterance from the depths of a struggling, suffering - " I don't have the rest of it on the screen.

JOHN: What's the joke there? Meredith? You've been dumped a lot.

STAN: I don't know what that means.
JOHN: Oh yeah, that's probably me just not finishing a sentence (laughs). I was so pleased with it I didn't feel the need to connect those ideas.
STAN: Just make sure you get it in somewhere in the last page.

WOMAN OFF-SCREEN: I actually like this book.
JOHN AS ME FROM THE PAST: Thank you, I would never have remembered that line.

JOHN: "Of an inextinguishable misanthrop" - misANthropy? MisanTHROPy? MISanthropy? Misanthropic. MisANthropy? MisANthropy? MisANthropy. MisANthropy and revenge. "Inextinguishable misan" - misan - misANthropy. MisANthropy - misANthropy. "Inextinguishable MISanthropy" miss - misANthropy. "Inextinguishable MISanthropy and revenge." That was both bad pronunciations.

JOHN: I don't know how to stop it recording. I thought I hit the right button. No, it's been bl -