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Last sync:2024-04-06 03:15
In which John responds to the request that he judge the rap contest.
Obviously, I'm honored that I've been chosen to be the judge for the FiveAwesomeGirls rap-off. I'm not really an expert in the field of rap, but then again, neither are y'all. Actually, I came up with that joke before I listened to the actual songs and it turns out that the actual songs are, you know, quite good. (Lauren's rap plays: I had a while to get this done, but I's procrastinating. This wasn't my idea, so playas don't be hatin'. I'm not wearing my Hot Brothers bandana, 'cause I'm not cool enough, I'm no Hannah Montana.) John: Now God knows I love me some Hannah Montana. Actually, I don't even know who she is. Is she a musician? Sarah? Who's Hannah Montana? Hannah Montana? Is she a musician or an actress or, or what? She's both? Oh, a double threat. I felt like Lauren had the strongest hook and she had that kind of like, Will Smith narrative thing happening, which is great. (Hayley's rap plays: during the reminiscing, one of them said, oh my God, I think I have a mission.) John: Hayley, you've got that Funkmaster Flex thing goin' on, like, early to mid-1980s, and I love that. (Kristina's rap plays: But I gotsa end this war with my with homegirl, Hayley G, gotta knock her down a peg, cuz she's thinkin' she's a gangsta, I think we all know who's the real YouTube prankster.) John: Now, Kristina, you had what I believe is called the tightest flow. Okay, so The Yeti and I have now watched all three videos multiple times and we're ready to announce a winner. This is no dig on the awesomeness of the other rappers, because I would be happy if you renamed this channel fiveawesomegirlsrapping and it was nothing but rap songs for the next year. But there has to be a winner, and that winner is LAUREN! Anyway, I'm a big fan of FiveAwesomeGirls, keep it up, guys, girls, ladies, women.