I hate this place,
I can barely keep the misery off my face.
Yeah, there's one place I'd much rather be,
Taking transfiguration and arithmancy
And hanging with my friends in the owlery,
But instead I'm learning parts of speech
And trying not to fall asleep,
And avoiding the only girl in school who might like me.

It's so grotesque
When the guy sitting next to me drools all over his desk,
And I almost raise my hand to complain,
But then I realize that I wanna be doing the same,
So I put my head down on my desk as well,
And suddenly I'm learning a spell
To make my teacher's head swell,
But then he wakes me up and I can't help but yell..

ENGORGIO!

This isn't Hogwarts,
This is a concrete box,
And the pictures on the wall are never gonna talk,
And the teachers don't care, and the kids don't try,
And the most magical thing we have is fluorescent lights,
And they don't put you in Hufflepuff if you're not cool,
Instead they sort you in the parking lot after school,
And I think if I looked into the Mirror of Erised
I'd be wearing wizard robes with gold and red.

I'm not saying I'm not proud to be a nerd,
But public school ain't no place for a wizard,
Public school ain't no place for a wizard.

Y'know what's gross,
When the lunch meat looks like three day old soggy toast,
But as I ate it anyway I overheard this guy I hardly know calling me a nerd,
So I cast Sectum Sempra on him inside my mind.
I wish there were house elves making my food,
And everything was perfectly spiced,
And the only one being rude was the poltergeist.

And here's what's true,
I'd do pretty much anything to go to wizard school,
I'd even call Dolores Umbridge my friend
If it meant I never had to go to gym again,
But I look around at all of this crap that's part of my life,
No ghosts stalking the halls or hanging in the bathroom stalls,
And the stairs don't move 'cause there's no stairs at all.

This isn't Hogwarts,
This is a concrete box,
And the pictures on the wall are never gonna talk,
And the teachers don't care, and the kids don't try,
And the most magical thing we have is fluorescent lights,
And they don't put you into Hufflepuff if you're not cool,
Instead they sort you in the parking lot after school,
And I think if I looked into the Mirror of Erised
I'd be wearing wizard robes with gold and red.

I'm not saying I'm not proud to be a nerd,
But public school ain't no place for a wizard,
Yeah public school ain't no place for a wizard.