Lizzie: So, once a year, our university hosts a national swimming tournament. And every year around this time, our town is covered in strong, young, attractive men. Covered. Like syrup on a waffle. Ants on a picnic. Lydia on a swimmer.

Don't get me wrong, personally...I don't mind. You see a couple of burly bods walking down the street and you wanna put on a little flirt action, 'Hey there' Subtle, sexy, ladylike.

What I don't like is Lydia surrounded by hot, single men. Single men who are planning to leave town literally within the week! Cause when it comes to hot, muscular guys, Lydia's about as subtle as...Lydia. Seriously, think about it.

So...my name is Lizzie Bennet and this is the week when she goes completely cra-

Lydia: (enters frame and puts arm around Lizzie's neck) Hey, sis! Whatcha doin'?

[Intro plays]

Lizzie: Um...ah...I'm...

Lydia: Wow, you are really starting to suck at this video blog thing. Take five, sis! I got this.

Lizzie: Uh, what are you...?

Lydia: Hey, internet! My sister seems to be in one of her retarded phases... I can say retarded, right? Is that insulting? Whatever. (laughs) Okay, let's talk about Lizzie's fashion sense. (looks at Lizzie's outfit) What is this?! Eww...my high school principal dressed better than that!

Lizzie: Okay, so, uh, what are you actually doing here?

Lydia: (holds scissors in Lizzie's face) I think you know what you did.

Lizzie: Uh, I'm, I'm really sorry, I-I'm actually just worried about...

Lydia: JK! I was just messing with you! (laughs)

Lizzie: (laughs nervously with her) Okay, well then can I have the scissors? 

Lydia: Oh, great, Mom wanted you to do all the coupon cutting this week. (puts bag of coupons in Lizzie's lap)

Lizzie: Wow, they really need to make these digital.

Lydia: But you don't have to do them.

Lizzie: Really? Cause you're going to cut them all?

Lydia: No...you can come with me to Carter's instead.

Lizzie: And how does that help with coupons?

Lydia: Oh my-...what is it with you and coupons?!

Lydia: Reason number 15 as to why Lizzie Bennet is perpetually single.

Lizzie: But you... Is there actually a list?

Lydia: Oh my god, stop it with your nerdy lists and coupons already and come with me to Carter's, get you some hot aqua man-cake action...! Oh my god! SO HOT!! I'll totally be your wingwoman!

Lizzie: Ohh...my gosh, I, I don't have anything to wear.

Lydia: I'll get you something! (runs out of room)

Lizzie: I know what you're thinking. Why is Lizzie going out with her crazy little sister? Well, I'm going because if I wasn't there the only people watching over Lydia would be 25 college guys with perfect abs. Recipe for...pregnancy.

Oh, I'm sure it'll be amusing for about 30 seconds. Then it's 3 hours of complete and utter embarrassing misery. And unlike her, I still have to study! Write a research paper! Help out around the house! And, apparently, cut out coupons until the end of time.

...Canned green beans in cranberry juice?! Who buys this? I guess that's why there's a coupon. (Lizzie begins cutting coupons, Lydia re-enters room.)

Lydia: So I found something extra special for the occasion. (holds bra up to Lizzie) What do you think of this?!

Lizzie: Wow...that is...so...

Lydia: I know, super cute, right?! (Lizzie stares at camera helplessly.)

[Outro plays]