I really wanted to teach you how to masturbate but I've been telling myself, "'There's too much to it! Like what about teaching you hygiene and where to find things on your body? What lubes to use, and toys, if any? And how am I possibly going to demo this without being pornographic or being a prude?"

I was creating barriers for making a masturbation video the same way that people create barriers for masturbating. 

We're moving on!

[Intro]

Here's what you'll need; people all around the planet, even in space, can masturbate with just this. Even if they don't have water, food, privacy, or scented candles, it can still happen. It's like soccer...football, where you don't need fancy cleats or a brand-name ball to play the field.

Simple thrusting can give you a sense of pressure and rhythm. It can also be less tiresome to wield your hips than your wrist. But prone position masturbation can lead to difficulty climaxing and having partnered sex. This is what some people call traumatic masturbatory syndrome, or TMS.

Try this instead: hand on crotch. At least when you're in private. My culture is one of sexual modesty. Let your genitals get familiar with being touched. Do it over your clothing if you need to; breathe.

Start now while watching this video! Even though multi-tasking might not be romantic, it's a great way to feel more comfortable touching your body because your attention is elsewhere. It's up here.

When you ARE ready for an all out session with yourself, clean up! Set the mood! I want you to create a tantalizing ambiance for your sexy self. Some place comfortable and private where you feel like you could make all the noise you need to!

Make the bed. File your nails. Take a shower; moisturize. Brush your teeth. Do all the things you hope a sex partner would do before hooking up with you.

[whispering] 'Cause you are your sex partner!

Plan for an hour even if you want a quickie. Who knows, maybe your lover wants to keep going and going and going! You know, I suggest playing an album, something with passion, like Tori Amos or D'Angelo, and letting the music keep time for you.

Position yourself so that all of this is facing outward. Standing, kneeling, lounging. I pick lounging. Then, clothes on or off, start touching! Patting, stroking, rubbing, pinching, tapping, slapping, stretching, scratching, kneading, flicking, twisting, pulling, pricking, tickling.

With all this action, blood will rush in, and we want this blood to be oxygenated so you're going to breathe. Breathe like you have a runner's high; breathe like you hear in the movies. Breathing is the number one skill taught by sexological body workers to enhance sexual experiences. 

Moan those breaths, hold them. Blast them out, then take short ones, and slow ones, quick ones. Just don't pass out! Match your strokes with your breath and then disconnect them like a rebel. Do whatever you want, so long as you keep contact.

Change touch types and locations. Get your whole body into it and then maybe linger on the thighs. This experience is about you as a lover. Fantasize about you. 

When you come across the "whoa!" stay there. Now the variation is in speed. Faster movements for heightened arousal and slower movements for wider arousal. Check in with your body, make sure that it's not getting chafed or raw. Move around, keep it interesting, and make sure you do this again and again over time. Masturbation is a part of your self-care down there.

Sleep, eat, hydrate, masturbate!

Thursday's video will be me answering questions about masturbation. I will be on a jet plane to Iceland! Please come visit me!

If you're planning on attending the meet-up in Iceland, please check out the Facebook event page. I'll be going to the Phallological Museum where I'm going to stay curious.