Good morning Hank, it's Friday. It's actually morning for once hence the coffee. I love it when coffee's done.

I have a letter for your 15-year old self today, but first in your video on Wednesday, you talked about lexical gaps, like the fact that in Romanian there is no word for shallow, and in English we don't have a word for people who aren't virgins. Turns out, by the way, that there is a word in Romanian for people who aren't virgins. But anyway, it seemed to me that we need to plug that lexical gap and then plug it again and a... sorry. It was jokes like that that won me a Printz Award. Anyway, Hank, as you pointed out on twitter the best antonym for virgins suggested in comments, by far, was virg-out. But Hank, what the non-virgin lexical gap really made me think was, that like our obsession with sexual purity is such that when you are no longer this thing you are ... indescribable, which is exactly what I want to talk to your 15 year old self about. That won't be awkward.

But first, also in Wednesday's video you said: "Also dump your girlfriend. I don't know who your girlfriend is. I don't know how much you like her but dump her right now." I'm calling Fran, my girlfriend from when I was 15. (Fran's voicemail picks up). Dah!!

She called back!

John: "Hello?"
Fran: (on the phone) "Hello."
John: "Hi Fran!"
Fran: "Hi John Green!"
John: "..He made a video saying that I should dump whoever I was dating when I was 15 which was you."
Fran: "True. That's true."
John: "So, uhh."
Fran: "Are you breaking up with me?"
John: "This is going to be awkward for both of us. Uh, because we're both married."
Fran: "True."
John: "But, uh, I don't think it's going to work out."
Fran: "No. Is it something that I said?"
John: "Uhh. I mean it's partly like you not being attracted to people of my gender."
Fran: "Ohh, my God, that's so true. That's true. Do you think we could still be friends?"
John: (laughing) "I think we could still be friends. You're always so nice about everything that uh that's going on in nerdfighteria. It's very uh ... I always notice when you like re-tweet me and stuff. It's really nice of you."
Fran: "I'm a I'm a big fan of nerdfighteria. I feel like I, I am a nerdfighter."

Well, she seemed devastated. Here's what I want to say 15-year old Hank: It's not that big of a deal. Sexuality is important but it's certainly not the only interesting or important thing happening to you right now. 15-year old Hank, both you and I live in worlds that tell us there are only two important things. One is the acquisition of goods and the other is either the acquisition or avoidance of sex. But Hank, it turns out that the question of who's a virgin and who's a virg-out is not the most interesting question. And the romantic relationships in your life are not the only important relationships. As I give this advice, I realize that it is not intended for 15-year old Hank. It is intended for 15-year old John.

15-year old Hank, you're doing great and if you're watching this the only thing you're probably thinking is: "Is that a my little pony in the background?" Yes. Yes it is. 15-year old Hank, check this out. In the future you're going to write songs and people are going to paint ponies about your songs, which your brother will then steal. Some things never change.

Hank, I'll see you on Monday.