This episode of Sexplanations is brought to you by adamandeve.com.  They sent me a whole bunch of sex toys and I want to play with them.  First, the triple infinity.  Oh, there's so many things going on here.  Are you gonna work?  Are you a powerhouse?  I charged you.  Function.  Give me the pleasure.  Hold.  Yeah!  Alright, what do we have going on here?  Vibrations.  Meh.  Sucky thing.  Sucky bus.  Do your sucking.  This little logo is a flame.  What does that mean?  Hmm, hot.  Ooh, ooh, wahahah!  Oh my God!  That's a hickey right there.  That's--that's a clit hickey.  See, this goes in, mm, ah, ah, ribs.  G-spot, and then, clit hickey.  Okay.  Go to sleep.  Go to sleep.  Go to sleep.  Go to sleep.  Once upon a time, we made a video where we couldn't get the thing to be quiet.  Okay, good.  Be quiet. 

So.  I need to explain really quickly what my sexual experiences are like without vibrators and with them.  Without vibrators, if this is my head, glands, clit, part, and then this is like my vulva, vagina, mm, down there.  Without a vibrator, if I'm masturbating or getting intimate with somebody, then it's a lot of stuff going on here, like, takakakaa, with a vibrator, I don't have to put it in on the inside.  I just like, whee, stick it on the clit and my face will go like this.  I'm, mm, whatever.  Then it'll be like, and then I'll just like, poof, orgasm, like that!  These things.  Really, it's the difference between driving a manual and an automatic car.  Manual, you really get to feel for the road and like, know and engage with this machinery and with an automatic, you can like, do other things while you're driving and not have to constantly worry about shifty shifty and just like, baaah!  

Good one.  Next toy.  This is Eve's Satin Slim rechargeable vibe.  Be weird if these weren't rechargeable.  With bonus silicone sleeve.  I like it.  It's really small, compact.  It says sized just right, 5.75 inches long, 1.44 inches wide.  Waterproof.  Submersible.  (?~2:22) and latex free.  Mighty motor with ten unique vibration functions.  Let's do this.  Slick.  So one of the first vibrators I used was like this.  It's a very nice beginner.  We don't know what's gonna happen.  Just, we just wanna test out vibrations on the body parts and see how they respond.  This is great because you can just floop, slip it into your purse or fanny pack or wherever the place is.  Are you gonna turn on?  Shh.  Then it has this cool part, which is very dick-like.  I can put it on my finger.  Puppet show.  Finger somebody.  This way, two toys in one, or I can put it on to the vibrator.  Oh, easy smooth, mm, so soft, very skin-like.  It's got nice ridges that aren't sharp.  Ah, so good.  The corona here.  The corona, supposedly, is meant to go into an orifice and remove the seminal fluid of a previous partner so that the person with this corona glands head penis can put their semen in and then be the parent of the offspring, but I also think it's super helpful for menstruation, because if you menstruate, you might experience these awful cramps where the body is trying to evacuate blood from your uterus and this, hah, is like, I'll get that blood for you.  Mm.  Let me help you.  You don't have to worry about cramping it all out.  Sex, sex, during the period.  Mm!  And now you have it in like, a compact toy.  

Next.  Adam & Eve's True Feel Rechargeable Dildo with remote control.  The reason why I have to show this to you is because it is the most life-like penis toy, toy thing, non-penis penis, I have ever seen.  Ahhh.  Feels like a penis.  Looks like a penis.  I used to have one of these.  

It would get stuck to the wall and window often and a friend came over and really wanted one in his butt, so he went on to adamandeve.com and purchased one for himself because it was the most lifelike he had experienced.  If you have a dick and you think this is like a dick, then it's probably really like a dick.  So accurate.  Downside, doesn't come with batteries.  My bad!  Didn't prepare, 'cause I really wanna make this talk to me or alternatively, put it in someone else and talk to them from a distance.  So good.  It's so good.  I would still cover it in a condom, though.  How do humans do this?  I don't know.  Can we make you with a foreskin?  Later episode!

This is the (?~4:40), the ten time g-pearl g-spot stimulator with moving beads.  This is fun.  I feel like, you know, it's my birthday or something and we're getting to play with my new toys.  Again with the lack of batteries.  I just need to have a huge box of batteries to know that, okay, I ordered something from Adam & Eve, and I'm gonna want to play with it immediately with my friends on the internet.  I need batteries!  I can't make you work!  You have clitoral massaging beads, oh, right here.  I can feel that.  So this would go into the vagina or anus and this would rub up on the erectile tissue.  We got that.  It's silicone.  High quality.  Easy to clean.  Easy to charge.  Cute little heart parts.  Operated from a distance.  (gasp)  Oh my gosh.  Look.  There's a frickin' battery.  But you're like high tech battery.  You have packaging on your packaging.  Okay, okay, okay.  Are you all I need?  Oh my gosh.  This is how a sex toy should be.  You should be like, I can't wait.  I can't wait to put them in.  I don't know, I think the thing is, though, that this one's gonna have to be charged separately and I just wasn't prepared.  I just wanted to pull them out of their pretty box and go from there.  Why are you so smart?  

Okay, let's fill these beads.  Yeah, see, I'm so sensitive to this that going into my arm, it goes all the way down and then my entire body is getting stimulated by this thing and I could basically orgasm from my fingers alone.  So sensitive, she's so sensitive, whyyyy.  Okay.  Next.  

(?~6:21) by Jet with treble and bass technology, find your frequency.  I think this is another situation where I am very much going to wish that this was not an unboxing and it was more of a, it's ready to go.  Aah.  You wanna take this home with you, (?~6:37)?  Is this what you're going to try out?  Are you going to try this out?  

Okay, let's read.  I'm smarter than this.  Featuring our patented treble and bass technology, Jet is a powerful guybrator that is worn against the frenulum, so the part like that where the foreskin was or is attached to the underbelly of the penis.  Designed to deliver an intense, hands-free orgasm, Jet's flexible sleeve expands as you do, taking you effortlessly from flaccid to erect.  Wow!  What's the treble bullet emits powerful, high-frequency waves, the bass, oh yeah, that's bass, not bass, bass bullet delivers deep, rumbly vibrations.  Adjust the treble and bass to find your perfect frequency.  

Are you gonna sing?  Is that what you do?  Oh my gosh, so many parts.  A nice bag, too.  So the guybrator can be kept neat.  Here we go.  We've got more parts.  This is very smooth.  I'm guessing that it's silicone because it's high quality.  So this with the nice crown emblem here is going to go around the cock, just under the frenulum.  That's pretty tight.  Then we have two bullet vibes to insert, which there is an appropriate direction for these, and then vibrating the underbelly of the penis and the scrotum with the balls in it, probably, too.  Perineum, you could really stick it under.  Yeah, yeah, all sorts of good things, and this one also has a remote.  Look at that.  

Handsome.  Two different so that your balls can get different attention.  More for the left.  Less for the left.  More, less, up, mm, on, mm, pulse the different sides of the cock.  Let's put it on.  Lots of different ways this could happen, gonna try this one.  Go in there.  Very accurate-like penis.  Oh man.  Are you gonna break my toy, with my toy, with my other toy?  Are you gonna tear? 'Cause you're so tight?  It looks like a scuba diver.  Oxygen tanks, okay, yep.  This one goes in and out very nicely.

Okay, here we go, next toy.  Eve's rechargable pulsating dual massager.  Give it to me, Eve.  Alright, here we go.  Very soft.  Silicone.  Ridges.  Vertically, see them?  This is for vaginal penetration or anal or put it on the outside of your body.  Massage your neck.  This one is intended for clitoral stimualtion, but it can be for other things as well.  Also, vertical ribs.  Press of the button.  There we go.  That's the business that I'm talking about.  Do you see this?  It's like the guys that get made fun of for doing the jackrabbit kind of thrusting with their partners, but sometimes, you just want that.  Not everybody.  Not everybody wants this, but sometimes you wanna be jackrabbited.  That's not me.  That is the toy.  It's (garbled).  Good one.  Shh, quiet.

Sincrerely, sport sheets.  They make sheets, too.  But this is black jewel nipple clips.  Come out, you beautiful jewelry, you.  Hmm.  Hmm.  Okay.  I'm gonna undo this, and then I'm gonna try these on, but over my clothes, 'cause you know, internet.  Note, nipples experience sensations differently at different times of the month and in different temperatures and in different circumstances, so just because your partner was like, yeah, tear 'em off one day, doesn't mean that that's what they want you to do the next day.  

Here we go.  So, little clasp here determines how tight they are and you'll lower it so you open them up completely and then let's make fake nipples, meeh, put it right there and slide it into place.  

Goodness.  Oh goodness.  Where's my modesty?  Fake nipples.  Meh.  Am I pretty?  I mean, I envision it as if you're wearing this very low cut dress, like one of those that maybe Halle Berry or something would wear, someone would wear, and it goes all the way down like this, right, to the crotch, and you just see this and you're like, woah.  The necklace is not around her neck.  Where is it coming from?  And you're like, ohh.  Yeah.  Halle Berry's kinky.  Mmm!  Okay.  Ahh.  Part of the pleasure is the release.  It's not a torture device.  It's a 'I'm gonna hold on to you and make you feel nice and comfortable and pretty'.  Here we go.  Sport sheets didn't know what they were creating to see at adamandeve.com.  Yes?  I'm not in pain.  I mean, it's a pinch, but it's an erotic pinch, right?  This is erotic.  This is a sex look.  This is the future.  

Alright.  There are more toys in the box.  The mighty metallic wand and a show ender, I think.  You're the headliner, aren't you?  Are you precharged?  Are we best friends?  Oh boy.  Oh gosh, my teeth are rattling.  That is good stuff.  That's like, way better than the massage chairs at the airport.  Is it vibrating my voice?  Ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha.  Ha ha.  Yeah, that's good stuff.

Thanks Adam & Eve!  If you would like to get a toy like this or lube or a toy cleaner or condoms and this stuff and put it in a box and get free shipping on orders to the--wait.  Let's say that.  My head is still vibrating.  

It's in my ears.  Let's do that again.  I miss you already and you need to do the other side.  Ohh, fuck.  Okay, okay, okay.  If you would like to get a toy like this or a toy cleaner or lube or condoms or all of the above and put them in the same box so that you get free shipping to the US and Canada, you can use the promo code 'DOE', D-O-E, at checkout, and get 50% off an eligible item.  Plus the free shipping!  Adamandeve.com.  Stay curious!