Craig: Hi, I'm Craig!

Matthew: I'm Matthew!

Megan: I'm Megan!

C: And this is How to Adult's Beer Quiz Show where we have three people, lots of beer and it's... it gets confusing. But it gets less confusing! Let's talk safety first!

Rachel: Our three contestants all want to be part of this Beer Quiz Show! They're all of legal drinking age here in the U.S. None of them have a medical condition that alcohol can aggravate, none of them are pregnant, none of them are taking medication that will be affected by drinking alcohol.

Because our contestants are going to be drinking, they're going to abstain from operating any heavy machinery, which includes driving vehicles. 

Me: Can't find them...

Ma: Isn't that...

Me: Worked out at the source

Craig: My car is actually in a different city.

R: So here's how the game works. There will be 7 rounds of beer identification. Each contestant will receive one mystery beer per round. Contestants will get one point for identifying the correct type of beer using sight, smell, and taste with the potential for gaining another half point for every relevant beer fact.

If the round is a multiple choice round, contestants will be provided with the opposing beer to taste in order to explain the differences between beers. The contestant with the most points will win honor and glory and this really sweet hand sharpied mug!

Me and Ma: Oooh!

Craig: Awe...

Me: I knew it!

Ma: Haha!

Me: That's why I wrote maybe...

Me: You know and ambers, they actually look darker too, that's partially how I knew it.

Ma: This is an amber. It's an amber, so it's a little bit more brown.

C: Yeah, yep. A little more amber color, I think.

C: This is like.. heavier, thicker, a little sweeter maybe?

Ma: Definitely sweeter.

Me: Mhm

C: Maybe, maybe a little bit syrupy?

Me: I think that's why it's kind of a-that was like, why I liked it when I first started drinking beer.

C: Now that I've fully distinguished them, I think that blondes are lighter, crisper, more like a standard beer that you would expect from like a Bud or Miller.

C: Yeah, I'm just disappointed in myself. But I got beer, so I'm okay.

Me: To be honest, the blonde just called to me 'cause I'm a-I'm a blonde.

C: Yeah...

Ma: Mmkay.

Ma: Did we all get it?

Me: Yeah!!

Ma: Did you draw India?

C: I drew India!

Me: Would you?

C: You could tell that that was India?

C: Fun fact! Uh... IPA stands for India Pale Ale, and that is not because the beer originated in India. I think it originated in England and they just had to make it extra hoppy so it could survive the trip to India.

Ma: I don't like IPAs. Which is how I knew that it was an IPA.

Me: Hoppiness, bitterness.

C: It only takes you probably one IPA in your life before you know what an IPA is-what hops is.

Ma: I've also had IPAs that are not as hoppy.

C: Well yeah! There's some nice fresh one-like refreshing ones.

Ma: But I'm always surprised. Like people are like, 'try this one, I swear it's not that hoppy' and I'm like, 'I dunno, it says IPA...'

Me: And you hate it every time? Is that-

Ma: Yeah usually. 

Me: Yeah.

Ma: Yeah...

Me: Just um, you know, embrace that you don't have to love every beer.

C: No!

Ma: What a nice lesson!

Me: I'm just dropping lesson bombs on how to adult here.

C: The way it looks...

Ma: Yeah.

C: I have an... an idea.

Me: Mhm

Ma: Same

Ma: I know my answer, but I need to know more information about that beer.

Ma: We all got it right?

Me: Good job everyone!

C: Ah yeaah!

Ma: All right, look at us!

Me: Woo!

Me: This did not have the hops that a pale ale would have.

C: It had that kind of... watery/light pilsner flavor.

Ma: Your friends will buy it for you at the bar. But if you're gonna choose a beer for yourself, to like go have with dinner, probably not the one you're gonna choose.

C: Well, on the other hand-

Me: If you're trying to, yeah.

C: It's lighter and it doesn't interfere with the flavor of your dinner, so it would be a good thing to wash down your-

Ma: But also, I don't think it would compliment anything.

C: That's true. Yeah, I mean, sometimes I'm in the mood for a pilsner.

Ma: This is like a bowling alley beer!

C: Sometimes... sometimes, yeah.

Me: Yeah exactly!

C: Bowling alley beer!

Me: This makes me feel like I'm bowling.

C: Bowling alley beer!

Ma: Yeah!

Me: Which is a nice, happy beer. Yeah.

Ma: If I go bowling, I'm gonna have some nachos, some mozz sticks, and my friends are gonna buy me a pitcher of this.

Me: I have an issue with food at bowling alleys.

Me: Awe man...

Ma: Yep.

Me: I don't even know.

Ma: It might be a complete bust.

C: I'm pretty confident. Pretty confident in this.

Me: Are you?

C: Yes...

Ma and Me: (cheers)

Craig: Aaawe

Me: Yes!

C: Um.. the Maibock is, this in particular is sweeter and a little more bitter at the same time.

Me: Yeah, I know, it's kinda a weird...

C: Yeah, yeah

Ma: Like the first taste of it is sweet and then the hops were like, 'mm, you don't like this'.

Me: Well, definitely based on the look of these beers-like Hefeweizens are a little cloudier, typically and-

C: Yeah, 'cause they're unfiltered.

Me: Unfiltered, exactly.

C: Hefeweizens typically tend to have a wheaty flavor to them.

Me: Yeah, almost like a banana note on the nose.

C: Yeah, a little banana. And they're usually good with like, lemon.

Ma: This one maybe just has less flavor than some of the ones I've had. 

C: Yeah, this one's mostly just kinda sweet.

Me and Ma: Yeah!

Me: And that just differs between what brewery made it.

C: Yeah

Ma: Yeah, it's true.

C: Sometimes they're gonna be different!

Me: Yeah! Just like you.

All: (laugh)

C: And me!

Me: And me!

Ma: And me! We're all unique and so are Hefeweizens.

C: And we're also getting a little drunk. I don't know if you are, but we are.

Ma: Yeah.

C: Based on the look...

Me: It's so-

Ma: We're all just, wooah!

C: I think I know-I think I know what it is.

Me: It looks like it's root beer!

C: Cheers everybody!

Me: Cheers! Why haven't we done that?

C: I know, what's hte matter with us?

C: Oh no! 

Ma: Ooh?

C: I think I drank too much.

Ma: Oh no!

Me: No!

C: Yeaaaaaaaaaah!

Me: I even put an exclamation point! 

Ma: I was so certain!

Me: Because I thought I had it.

C: Boom!

Me: Rude.

C: Boom!

Ma: Oh no!

C: Browns taste more like beer. They just taste more like regular like, like a pilsner or like a... like a, um, and amber or something. Stouts taste more like a thick milkshake. Common misconception about Guinness beer-

Me: Yeah?

C: Is that it's higher in alcoholic content and higher in calories because it's dark... It's actually-it actually has less calories than any major beer.

Me: See that just goes against everything you learn about like ice cream. Like if you eat a lot of heavy ice cream, you're eating a lot of calories.

C: Yeah, but but then if you eat like gelato or frozen yogurt.

Me: Are those less calories?

C: Less calories!

Me: Really?

C: Less, yeah!

Me: Great! I love gelato!

C: And it, but it tastes like, it tastes richer.

Ma: Guinness is the gelato of beer.

Me: Okay.

C: Guinness-Guinness is the gelato of beer. That's the fact.

Ma: Start your Guinnes fact today!

Me: What...?

C: That is a very weird smell and a very weird taste.

Me: I dunno, it has a sweetness to it? I shouldn't be talking to you guys about this.

Ma: I don't like this.

C: I think it's pretty good, actually.

Me: Mhm! I like it.

Ma: Really?

C: I uh- you know what it-to me it has a... This is gonna sound terrible, probably, it has kind of the taste of a farm. Like corn.

Me: Yes! There's something-

C: Like uh... yeah

Ma: That's good?

Me: Animally about it?

C: Yeah! Yeah. Like corn. Like, you know, like like... I dunno.

Me: Corn beer.

C: Corn beer! Yeah.

Me: That's it!

C: Yeah...

Ma: Ah, you're already done, you got-

C: I like it! It's pretty good.

Me: I like it too, Craig. I don't know, I just can't figure out what it is though.

C: I think I know! I think I-

Ma: My taste is very different from the two of you...

C: I took a guess.

Me: What?

Ma: What?

C: Yeaaaaah!

Me: Saison! 

R: It's not Saison!

Me: No?

Ma: Oh, it's Belgium!

R: It's not Saison, but it's brewed in Belgium!

C: Okay... yay!

Ma: Eyy!

R: So does he get a half point?

?: Yes.

R:Okay.

Ma: What did you write?

Me: Hefe-probably not. Romania-nah.

Ma: Russia.

Me: Russia.

Ma: I wrote lager-Spain.

C: Oh man.

Me: Okay. No, lagers more skunky, but saison-

C: I would-I would disagree with lager, but Spain-

Ma: Yeah, no, I disagree as well. I had no guess 'cause I just didn't like it.

C: I guessed saison because I've had many different saisons and many-and they often... vary in flavor a lot. 

Me: Mm.

C: And this was-had some elements of wheat to it, I suppose.

Me: Yeah! That's why I wrote hefe-

Ma: So you were just kinda hoping like, okay this an extreme weird flavor-

C: Yeah! Of saison!

C: For-I could taste, I could smell corn. Like the smell of a farm, like when you're hanging out on a farm, not the terrible parts of a farm, but like, like, you know, like a cornfield or like, or like a silo filled with corn. That sort of smell, you know?

Ma: Yes!

Me: And corn has that like sweetness in the flavor to it, so I feel like, yeah, 'cause I definitely get that sweet note. Which reminded me of hefeweizen almost, but not... but saison more. Like I get-I just forgot about saison, but I would have guessed that if I would have.

Ma: It was just so strong. Like it was so different-

Me: Yeah, you really didn't like it, did you?

Ma: Yeah, I really didn't like it.

C: But-

Ma: The smell and the taste of this one made me like immediately not want to have to taste it anymore.

C: I think-I think with-with beer, like, as you get older, my friend...

Me: Yeah!

C: It depends on mood. It really depends on mood for me. Like, uh... Right now I'm in the mood for anything 'cause we're on video, so I have to be.

Me: Right.

C: But-but, um... you know, like, most of the time I'm in the mood for dark beer, lately. 

Ma: Mhm.

C: But like a beer like-like this? Like... I could see myself really enjoying something like this, when it's-when I'm ready for it. Like, I'm gonna sit down, I'm gonna have one of these beers.

Me: Right.

C: Because it's a very big flavor.

Me: It is.

C: It's very, like...

Me: Like I don't know what I would-

Ma: This is a sipper.

Me: eat with it? What would you eat with this?

C: Probably nothing. You'd probably-you'd probably just be this.

Me: Because it, yeah, yeah.

C: I only... I flew here with one bag and I don't know if I can fit that in my bag, so-so I hope I don't win.

Ma: That's the spirit!

C: I've had Hamm's many times. I've PBR more. But I think it's gonna be hard no matter what.

Me: I know, exactly.

Ma: Your beer disappeared.

Me: Oh, it's right in my hand.

Ma: Yeah... you ready?

Ma: Oh, ah! I thought I knew!

C: I think I do know. I think I know.

Ma: I had an initial... taste and I was pretty sure-

C: And I h-and I have a reason why.

Me: I think I know too. I think I know. I think I know.

Ma: God dang it! I don't wanna....

C: What?!

C: Like what did it-it come out of a can?

Me: Yeah.

C: Was the can opened earlier?

R: Yep.

C: I always thought PBR was more bubbly than this. Maybe from a bottle it's more bubbly? Maybe that's what-that's what I will say to myself.

Ma: I feel like I've only had canned PBR in life. Usually not 24 ounces.

Me: It's a very familiar taste to me, but I was like, maybe Hamm's tastes the same, and so-

C: It does!

Ma: One thing that I realized we have not talked about is the taste of beer, uh, with bottle, cans, and taps!

C: When I was just in Europe, I was asking a bart-the bartender, 'should I get the bottle or the draft?' And he said, "Bottle's always better." Bottles always better.

Ma: See, I always default to draft.

C: Yeah.

Ma: Something about it just seems more pure to me.

C: But, well, with draft, there's a lot more variables going into it like, how well do they clean the tubes that-that the-

Me: Yeah, 'cause that could affect the taste.

C: That the beer comes through, you know.

Ma: Yeah

C: Do you prefer draft, bottle, or can?

Me: Honsetly, okay, this is gonna be different from you guys, but I like to wear lipstick and so it depends on whether I'm wearing lipstick or not. If you drink out of a can, you're also hitting the tab, there's a smaller opening, and it's just kinda, it gets everywhere.

Me: I would prefer out of a glass because there's a more strategic way you can drink that.

C: What kinda matters is where your nose is when you're drinking. Like if you're drinking out of a can, you're gonna smell metal when you-when you drink.

Me: Right Okay!

Ma: Yeah...

Me: But glasses have that aroma...

C: Drinking out of a bottle, it's just the open air! Your nose is just out there!

Ma: See that's why I typically like to go, like, I like to go for a draft, because you can completely smell your beer.

C: That's exactly what I was gonna say next! You took the words right out of my mouth! Yeah, yeah, when you-that's what the value of a draft, of out of a glass,[ is that, like you can really smell it when you drink it.

Ma: Wait, what's the score?

Me: Same.

C: They're a half a point ahead of me, right?

R: Yeah.

C: Wait, what if I, what if I give a fact?

Ma: No! Is there, there's not, there's no tiebreaker in place?

Me: The badlander has uh-

R: I'm sorry, I didn't even think about it.

R: Part of being an adult is admitting one's mistakes. Not figuring that the contestants of a 7 question quiz show may tie was maybe an oversight on our part. So, we've brought Matt and Megan back for a tie-breaker.

R: To determine the champion of Beer Quiz Show, we've chosen a sophisticated test of beer worthiness: the time honored tradition of throwing a ball into a cup.

Ma: And then the first person to get it in is the winner!

Me: Yes!

Ma: Alright...

Me: See? I just don't think that this is gonna stick! I think that we bounced out of it every time. That's a good idea.

Me: That was it!!!

Me: Yeah! Ha!

C: I mostly reside on WheezyWaiter, which is a YouTube channel and I've made, oh just 1300 videos on it. 

Ma: Really?

Me: Have you really?

C: Yeah. I have.

Me: 1300 videos? 

C: Yeah, more than that, yes.

Me: All by yourself?

C: All by myself!

Ma: Wow!

C: I'm a big boy now.

Me: I haven't made that many videos.

Ma: I've made about 300 videos over at Youtube.com/MatthewGaydos, where I talk to the camera about things and occasionally sing songs.

Me: And, I was talking about lipstick earlier because I make a comedy show about makeup! It's called Makeup Your Mood and it resides on HISSYFIT. Check it out!

Me: Goodbye!

C: Goodbye!

Ma: Bye!

Ma: Hahahaha!

Me: Subscribe to How to Adult!

C: I'm really made that I lost but I'm hiding it with a smile.