YouTube: https://youtube.com/watch?v=7EMkQ5Yrp8Q
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Duration:06:16
Uploaded:2021-09-25
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In the last year, even before that, Sexplanations has been exceedingly difficult to create. I stumble with how to communicate in a world that discriminates against my field while simultaneously harassing me for nudes. I want to teach freely and explicitly but I don't want to face censorship or reinforce perpetration. It is a mess in my head.
Recently I've made four videos I can't even bring myself to post. My mind feels like it's jammed, like a big chunk of sadness is wedged into the gears of enthusiasm and purpose. Even though there's content it doesn't feel safe to share. I'm mad at myself for not knowing how to punch through this, for not having the energy to fight harder; and I'm mad at society for all the barriers it puts up for sex workers/educators like myself to do our jobs. GAH!!!
Anyway, that's what this video is. It's a vent session of me plunking through some of the back and forth that goes on in my mind when I think about what I want to do and how cornered I've become. I don't have a solution except to stay curious and give time time.
Thank you for being a part of what makes this job rewarding, for being such precious students and teachers to me. I'm not done yet but I'm squirming and shifting. It means a lot that you're here.
Respectfully,
Lindsey
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