EMMA: Emma Woodhouse here with amazing news: The benefit was a smashing success! The turnout was incredible, there wasn’t an empty seat in the entire venue.

And, by the end of the night, we had even run out of quail eggs. Add to that, a guest of honor whose enthusiasm for renewable energy had people rush to the silent auction, we made… One hundred and fifty thousand dollars for charity. Definitely Emma approved.

But, before we get into that, we have to deal with something much more pressing: Harriet. It’s time.

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HARRIET: Yes, Emma?

EMMA: Sit down. [winks]

EMMA: We need to talk about what happened at the benefit.

HARRIET: Oh no, what happened at the benefit? Emma, I’m so sorry, what did I do?

EMMA: Nothing.

HARRIET: Nothing?

EMMA: Nothing! The benefit went perfectly! [HARRIET sighs of relief] Everyone loved the ranch and the decorations, and that’s all because of you.

HARRIET: Me?

EMMA: Yes, you! We wouldn’t have had a benefit at all if you hadn’t nailed down the location.

HARRIET: All I did was go up to the Cole’s ranch to find them, track them to their nephew’s wedding, and then get them to confirm the date. [Shrugs.] All stuff you would have done.

EMMA: And I taught you well. I put a lot on you for this, and you did everything I asked of you. Therefore…I think it’s time for a promotion.

HARRIET: A promotion?

EMMA: [Nods] “Harriet Smith, Event Coordinator”. How does that sound?

HARRIET: That sounds awesome.

EMMA: Of course, you’ll still have to the assistant stuff around here, but you will also be getting a lot more responsibility.

HARRIET: Oh my goodness, Emma, thank you! I can’t wait to print up business cards.

EMMA: Already done. [Takes out box.] My gift to you.

HARRIET: Oh my goodness. I’m going to go show Mr. Knightley.

EMMA: [Laughs] Go right ahead.

HARRIET: I can’t believe this! A promotion, business cards, and a raise…all in one day!

EMMA: Oh, whoa, I didn’t say anything about a raise…
Harriet wasn’t the only help I had making Maddy’s night a success. Frank Churchill’s speech was a huge hit, and at the end of the night, he even got a standing ovation.
Maddy Bates was beside herself all night. I even thought she was going to float out of her chair.
And I saw her clutching business cards from some very influential people.
[Snap] So that’s that! The benefit was most definitely Emma approved. And now, Maddy Bates’ client list will be, too.
I wish I could take all the credit, but this time, a lot of it goes to Frank Churchill.

KNIGHTLEY: Does it?

EMMA: You know it does.

KNIGHTLEY: I’ve never heard you give credit to anyone else before.

EMMA: That’s not true, it is always a group effort. Besides, you should be happy that I am learning to share the glory.

KNIGHTLEY: I am, it’s a big step for you.

EMMA: Thank you.

KNIGHTLEY: I do wonder about one thing, though.

EMMA: What’s that?

KNIGHTLEY: Well, what made Frank Churchill decide to volunteer himself in the first place?

EMMA: For me.

[KNIGHTLEY stares incredulously]

EMMA: To thank me for helping out with Ryan and Annie’s wedding.

KNIGHTLEY: It’s a big thank you.

EMMA: Yes. Nice people who don’t look at numbers all day like to do favors for one another. What does it matter? He came in and he saved the day.

KNIGHTLEY: Yeah, I understand. And I’m glad that he did. But still, his motives just…

EMMA: …are not important. Everyone has a motive for every single thing that they do. I mean, you had one for waking up this morning. For coming into work ten minutes early. For deciding to wear that weird shade of green.

[KNIGHTLEY looks down at his shirt and mumbles.]

EMMA: The important thing is not why he did it, it’s that he did, and it was a huge success.

KNIGHTLEY: I like this shirt.

EMMA: I don’t know why you’re so concerned about Frank Churchill, what he does and why he does it.

KNIGHTLEY: [Laughs] I couldn’t care less about Frank Churchill. It’s everyone else who makes such a big deal out of him when he is just a man.

EMMA. Oh. My. God. You are jealous of Frank Churchill!

KNIGHTLEY: I am not.

EMMA: You are, too! I can see it.

KNIGHTLEY: Once again, your powers of observation are completely off-base.

EMMA: Admit it! You are jealous of his money, his status, and his success.

KNIGHTLEY: I am no more jealous of Frank Churchill than you are of Jane Fairfax.

EMMA: Ah ha! I knew it!

KNIGHTLEY: You’re jealous of Jane?

EMMA: What? No. But I got you to admit it.

KNIGHTLEY: You did not.

EMMA: I did, too!

KNIGHTLEY: You did not!

EMMA: Did, too!

KNIGHTLEY: Did not!

MADDY: Children, children! What is all the fuss about?

EMMA: Maddy! I wasn’t expecting you today.

MADDY: Oh honey, I had so much energy after last night, I wanted to come and thank you properly. And, I have a little present for my two favorite people [sing-songy].

EMMA: Oh, Maddy, you shouldn’t have.

MADDY: It was nothing.

KNIGHTLEY: Is it more jam?

MADDY: Oh, no, honey. You had enough jam to last you a lifetime. This…is my famous chardonnay mustard. [Chuckles]

KNIGHTLEY: Ooh…thank you, Maddy, this looks…delicious.

MADDY: Oh, it’ll last you forever, and the best part is, it gets better with age. [Smiles]

KNIGHTLEY: [Nervous laugh] I will keep that in mind.

MADDY: Here, try a sample.

KNIGHTLEY: Oh…you know what? I just brushed my teeth.

EMMA: That’s never stopped you before.

[KNIGHTLEY and EMMA fake laugh.]

[KNIGHTLY tastes the mustard.]

KNIGHTLEY: [Voice quivering] Mm, that’s good.

MADDY: Tastes o’ honey.

KNIGHTLEY: Yeah, it’s…sweet. You know what, I can hear my phone ringing, so thank you, very much, for the mustard, Maddy.

MADDY: Uh…

KNIGHTLEY: Oh, and Maddy? Have a nice day.

MADDY: Emma. I cannot thank you for everything that you’ve done for me.  Last night was the best night of my life.

EMMA: Oh, it was nothing.

MADDY: It was something! All of those people wanted to come up to me and talk about financial planning. It was like a dream come true!

EMMA: Strange kind of dream, but I’m glad. So you made a lot of new contacts?

MADDY: Yes, too many to count.

EMMA: That’s great! And I saw you talking to a partner at the biggest water company in the state?

MADDY: Yes, he is such a nice man.

EMMA: And is he one of your new clients?

MADDY: Oh, no, he already has an accountant. And what kind of person would I be if I stole someone else’s business? But he did tell me that his gardener was starting to set up a small business loan, and I meet with him next week. [Laughs]

EMMA: Oh, I see.

MADDY: Then there’s Ms. Jeffries—she’s a piano teacher—and then there’s Mrs. Hughes’ housekeeper, and then there’s…oh, so many to count, I can’t keep up. [Laughs]

EMMA: Oh, well, that’s…surprising.

MADDY: Oh, you know, I do worry about all the people I won’t have time to help, but as Jane says, I can only do good where I can. [Laughs]

EMMA: And Jane is right.

MADDY: Plus, she wanted me to tell you how much she enjoyed the benefit last night. And you know, in her line of business, she goes to a lot of fancy parties, so she would know. [Laughs]

EMMA: [Fake chuckle] Oh, that means so much.

MADDY: Oh, it’s so wonderful having her back home. Oh, you know, if you’re not busy this weekend, you should come by. I know she’d love to see you. And I would love to have my two favorite girls in one place.

EMMA: I’m one of your favorite girls?

MADDY: Of course you are, baby.

EMMA: Oh, well, Maddy, I might have time to look over that financial software now that the benefit’s over.

MADDY: Well that would be wonderful. Just set up a meeting with my secretary.

[EMMA and MADDY exchange glances and laugh.]

MADDY: Actually, it’s Mr. Otway’s secretary, but she agreed to help me with my schedule if I helped her with her 401K. [Laughs] Oh, so busy now, thanks to you, I can’t even keep my own schedule. [Laughs] Oh, you tell that adorable Mr. Knightley I said I will see him soon.

EMMA: Oh, I will.

MADDY: Bye, sweetie.

EMMA: Bye.

EMMA: Well, well, well.
Maddy Bates now has so many clients that she doesn’t even have time for me.
Granted, those clients may not be at the level of success we were aiming for, but perhaps…quantity can make up for quality.
Therefore, I get to say, Maddy Bates, I have made your life better, and my two for two record remains unbroken.
I am Emma Woodhouse, and I’m not here to ask why; I’m here to make it happen.