Lindsey: I'm Dr. Lindsey Doe, a clinical sexologist and host of this sex curious show, Sexplanations.  Today's episode is brought to you by adamandeve.com, an online sex toy store for all of your sexual playtime needs.  

A brothel is a place where sex workers can meet and have sex with clients.  A madam is usually a woman who oversees a brothel, the well-being of the sex workers and the clients.  At Sheri's Ranch, a brothel in (?~0:21), Nevada, I asked to interview the madam, because I wanted to learn how to become a madam myself.  

The following is my interview.  You may not be able to tell, but I'm really excited about the prospect.

(Intro)

Lindsey: I'm here with Dena from Sheri's Ranch.  She is the madam of the brothel, is that what you call yourself?

Dena: Uh, usually everybody calls me Dena.  Madam is a sign of respect that the girls will use.  

Lindsey: It's not a position.  What is your title?

Dena: I've never looked at it as a--

Lindsey: Your professional title?

Dena: Front house manager/madam.  Yeah.

Lindsey: So my question for you is how do I become a front house manager of a brothel/madam?  This is what I want to do!  

Dena: Is it really?

Lindsey: Yes.  

Dena: Oh God.  You know, I fell into it.  I took a red hat tour with my mother-in-law.

Lindsey: What's a red hat tour?

Dena: It's where a group of older ladies get together and they go do fun stuff and they all wear red hats.

Lindsey: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.  Okay.

Dena: Yeah, took the tour.  It was a lunch and a tour and at that time, the madam asked me if I wanted a job.  And she wasn't talking about working as one of the girls, she was talking about working as a hostess in the bar.  Mm, no, thank you for the offer, but I think I'm gonna pass.

Lindsey: Do you know why she asked you?

Dena: She said, she just said that I think you would do really well, and a couple months later, I thought, you know what?  I'm bored.  I could do a little part-time thing, you know, and she hired me on the spot and I...part-time turned into full-time, full-time, and then she left and then at that point, I'd already learned a bunch of the departments and then I got offered the position and I didn't have a clue as to what I was doing and just learned how to do it.  

Lindsey: I'm really curious about all of this.  I want to know what makes you the person that you are now, where you feel like you are qualified to be doing the job and what you were like at the beginning.

Dena: I was a quiet, stay-at-home house mom at that point, when I started working here and then I was good with customer service, so fitting into a hostess position was really easy, you know, and at that time, you know, you get exposed to the, what people want when they come to a brothel, so it's, a hostess is more than just greeting somebody and then having them take a seat, I mean, you are the facilitator, the liaison between the ladies and the customers.  So, a customer comes in and he, let's say they have a very specific need or want.  At that point, the hostess is going to help him.  If it doesn't work out with one lady, because they're independent contractors, let's say, it didn't work out with this lady, he's gonna come out, the hostess is going to help him figure out who's the best fit.  

Lindsey: Oh my goodness.

Dena: Yeah.

Lindsey: You're a matchmaker.  

Dena: I--sex-maker, I would say.  

Lindsey: Yeah.

Dena: Sex matchmaker, not matchmaker, yeah.

Lindsey: Because what you're saying is that clients will come to the restaurant, the bar, and they sit down, and my understanding is that the sex workers will come in one after the other to kind of interview with the client.

Dena: Uh-huh.

Lindsey: And then, let's say they choose someone that doesn't work out or they are having a hard time choosing, you come in and you help them understand what will work for them and who will be the best fit for them.

Dena: Yes.  You really like that, huh?

Lindsey: I really do.

Dena: Why?

Lindsey: It sounds dreamy.  Do madam positions open?  

Dena: Not in the last 13 years.

Lindsey: I would need to create my own brothel if I wanted.

Dena: Probably be amazing.

Lindsey: Thank you.  What is your relationship to the sex workers?

Dena: Well, when they come in, I'm dealing with 21 year olds to people in their late 40s, and when they come in, especially when they're 21 or even if they're older and they've never been in the sex industry, there's a lot they need to learn and it's scary.  It can be intimidating.  It's like the first day of school that never ends when you step foot on the property for the first time, so my job is to help them feel welcome, to help teach them what they need to know, to help them transition into a comfort zone that'll work for them.  So it can take six months to get a girl up to speed where she wants to be, depending on what her specific goals are.  So somebody coming in has a certain set of goals.  Well, how do we achieve them?  21 year olds don't know how to do that.  They haven't figured that part out.  They just think, oh, I'm gonna go make some money.  Well, what are you gonna do with your money?  What is it that you want to do in five years?  Where are you going with this?  Let's talk about a plan and that helps to get them on track to start working their business within our business and teach them how do you run a successful business, well, you can't sleep all day and not be in the bar working if you want to meet specific daily goals, let's say.  Yes, you have to take a shower and brush your hair and put on make up.  Keeping them motivated, because they are at home away from home.  

Lindsey: And you're helping them with their life goals and their business goals.

Dena: Yeah, the whole point is, in my opinion, for a madam, is to help these women coming in be as successful as possible.

Lindsey: Hearing you describe the work that you do is so heartwarming, right?  Could you imagine every corporation having someone in your role who is looking after the emotional well-being of their employees and helping them connect effectively with the clients and looking after their futures?  

Dena: Wow, I never even thought about it that way, but yeah.  

Lindsey: Dena is doing an incredible service.  Not all sex work entails a safe environment with a madam to provide guidance and support, to make sure everyone feels valued.  I'm so grateful to her for sharing her experience and setting a great example of a madam.  It's even more of a life goal now.  As a tie-in to our sponsor, adamandeve.com, Dena asked some of the sex workers at Sheri's Ranch which of Adam and Eve's toys they're most excited about or would buy?  The response?  Clit pleasuring womanizer.  These toys aren't eligible for discount, but they're still amazing.  Premium classic.  This one has autopilot, so it will generate a new pattern of sensations every time you turn it on, 8-12 intensity levels, waterproof, quiet, easily recharged with this magnetic port, contoured for comfort and sex worker approved.  

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(Endscreen)