Hi, I'm John Green, welcome to my salon, this is Mental Floss on YouTube, and this-- oh, Trip!

Welcome to my salon...uh, I forgot my line.

Hi, I'm John Green--uh, I'm not ready! I'm not ready! Oh, fucknugget!

(Intro)

Trip, the mascot of the Butler Bulldogs. A perfanably--uh, perfanably! Trip, you did your job I didn't do mine!

You know, it's easy to get you a doctor who'll prescribe you raw meat- Ah, I can't do it!

Wheezy: That's gonna happen here. Heh!

John: Fuck motorcycles

Staff pork chop party fund! Ah dammit, this really is quite difficult.

Let me attempt to use it in a sentence: when I see the University of Lafayette I have a "Ragin' Cajun."

It's hard to get a doctor who will prescribe the hot beef injections I desperately need.

Emily: Some shark.. these are not sharks. The sharks.

John: Oh, that's really gross. Mm, it had baking soda in it. Ah, that's a lot of baking soda. Is that going to be bad for me? Is there like a poison warning? There is a little shell in there.

You're not candy, you're a punishment. Okay, that's disgusting.

Still funny. Good stuff Meredith.

I am sad. I am "Ragin' Cajun."

Staff pork chop party fund! Nope!

Yeah that-ahlkdnldnalsdjsnhofhfoihfeoifheoifjoer

Wheezy: It's said to have originated when World War II gehuhmahhm

John: Agorolock has the paws of a cheeto 

I think I'm too old to make that joke

Choose their mascot. Mwaascot, why did I say that so weird?

I'm glad it's not a fucking joke though.

That's another 25 cents-God dang it

Here in America the answer to "what's the crack" is baking soda--- baking soda and what?

It's almost as we shouldn't bought three dollar white Merlot that's red.

Emily: At one point in time, an elephant thought it was a good idea to retweet- blegh retweet?

John: God, I'm just, I don't have the physical prowess to really give wood a good knock.

Tootsie pop wrapper... I said rapper like 2Pac

Cormus. Comus? Comus. I'm not good at reading. Go fuck yourself San Diego.

It's Niall Horan - Horan? Horann?


Grace: McLaughlin; Am I saying that right? McLaughlin. Like it's a G?

John: This is a toke? Took. Mark is Canadian and he says it's took.

He's actually wearing a Canada hoodie

Staff pork chop party fun-agggh!

Wheezy: I said because it was made? Hehe, I didn't want to say- it's still made!

John: There's no part of receiving a hickey that is not about receiving a hickey. You know what I mean?

No, we don't say holiday. We say vacation. Mark is learning right now. 

Don't worry James Madison, you're going to die-- Woah, no! Oh! Oh! I apologize to my friends and family.

Emily: When I do get tired, I kinda start sounding drunk too, so if I start sounding drunk-- Yeah, I would like to not sound drunk.

John: Can make an addict look or feel like a cold turkey. An attic, like the place where you live? If you're a troll-- what the fuck am I talking about even? Okay.

An uncle Stolitskin - The story of Rumpelstiltskin. Did I say that right? No, it's uncle Stitlskin.

If you've been put in on the long finger- If you put it on the long- okay. Yeah, that's right. If you put in-- I was like, em, that doesn't sound right at all.

This is, this is just some lady. Some lady. Captain Jack Sparrow.

Wheezy: Rather use decaf coffee? Ugh, I can't believe I said that! That could be- no, but serious.

John: Time to put in another quarter in the staff pork chop party fund!

Mark, that was perfect delivery.

We're going to set off the smoke alarm, so we can't do it for too long.

Grace: Nerdfighters. It take me so long to get the proper nerdfighter sign down.

John: Meat packing issues... Anybody? No? Just me? Thanks for coming to Mental Floss this week!