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Last sync:2019-05-25 02:10
Katherine is sick, Hank is tired, we just got off a plane and it's time to talk about gorillas, pigeons, phlebotomists, and subtweeting famous astrophysicists.

We're also going to have some conversations about gun violence and yes I get a little bit mad about how certain conservatives are talking about mass shootings. I also get pretty intense when talking about Chumbawamba.

 (00:00) to (02:00)

Hank: So Katherine, uh, in the intro that I recorded I refer to myself as internet-famous. 

Katherine: Yeah.

Hank: You heard that. 

Katherine: I think so.

Hank: Is that okay?

Katherine: I don't know. What else would you call it?

Hank: I don't know- well, does it seem bra- some people thought it seemed braggy. 

Katherine: Ugh. Do they have suggestions of how you should be less braggy? Or did they just criticize you with no positive feedback? 

Hank: *laughing* There was positive - there was lots of positive feedback about the podcast. But I just - I think that sometimes we, as folk, don't like to call out the things that we have that other people want. And that makes sense that I wouldn't be like- like talk about how perfect my child is or something. The thing is, I think that if would be better for society in general if we recognize the things that we have that other people don't, and discuss the difference in power balance that exists in the world, instead of being like, "no, it doesn't exist!" Like...

Katherine: "I'm just a normal guy!"

Hank: Yeah, this is not- I'm not...

Katherine: That's not true! This is very abnormal.

Hank: Relatable is lies. Lots of things in my life are normal, but not all of them, and one of those things is that I have an audience and have to think about the impact that the things that I put onto the internet will have - or should think about that. If I don't then I think I'm doing it wrong. And that's the whole point of the podcast. 

Katherine: (singing) Boop boop, badoop badoop - Intro music!

(Intro music)

Hank: Hello I'm Hank Green, and I'm internet-famous. My wife, Katherine Green, has had just about enough of my BS, and she's quite possibly had enough of yours as well. Together, we're about to take a look back at the last week by reading, discussing, and critiquing my tweets. Welcome to Delete This.

 (02:00) to (04:00)

Katherine: Excuse my voice and energy level.

Hank: We just got back from Portland where we went to see a concert and had a really great time together and saw my parents, and some friends, and, uh, so we just got off the plane, and are pretty - pretty zonked.

Katherine: I had a cold.

Hank: Katherine still is getting over a cold.

Katherine: And coming down on the airplane I got that thing.

Hank: That head thing. 

Katherine: Oh man, I can't hear very well. So...

Hank: We're doing a podcast now. We're in it. 

Katherine: Great let's go. 

Hank: (Reading tweet) "Katherine and I just recorderd a pilot episode where we -of a podcast- where we discuss and critique my twitter feed, what should we call it?"

Katherine: *Laughing* That's not even what it said. (Reading tweet) "A pilot of an episode where we critique my twitter feed.

Hank: Aghhhhh. 

Katherine: It was really good. 

Hank: That's not a great tweet. 

Katherine: Nope. 

Both laugh

Hank: I didn't know that I did that until just now. People had no idea what I meant I, I assume they meant a video thing because I didn't say a podcast. 

Katherine: Nope. 

Hank: People gave us suggestions. 

Katherine: Yeah lots of suggestions. That was very nice. 

Hank: Some of them were very good.  Nicole said 'Birdwatching'. 

Katherine. Mmm

Hank: Sir5000 said 'Don't @ me' which is what we named that episode but-

Katherine: Thats... yeah

Hank: And we discussed that name, but there are at least one other good, ongoing, successful podcasts with that name. 

Katherine. Yeah you can't, you can't do that. 

Hank: Yep. 'Twittical analysis' I really liked.

Katherine: But then you'd have to say that every every week right. 

Hank: Welcome to Twittical Analysis! 

Katherine: *Gibberish to the cadence of Twittical Analysis, mockingly*

Hank: I could do it. Ah, some other people said 'Twittique'- and I did not like 'Twittique'- that was even worse to say out loud, every, once a week. Katherine's making a face.

Katherine: Bleugh. Eugh. Oh wait, I'm getting it now-

Hank: 'Twitterpated'

Katherine: *Wheeze laughs*

Hank: You didn't get it?! I was like, I really liked this one, Twitterpated, and Katherine was like No. 

 (04:00) to (06:00)

Katherine: I'm getting the bird theme now. 

Hank: Well it's also the name of Twitter.

Katherine: I know, I forgot about the fact that there was a bird, and that's what the 'Birdwatching' one was about. 

Hank: Yeah. 

Katherine: I'm dumb. Nice

Hank: Okay. Yeah, there's a bird. Twitter, Twitter is tweets, that's birds.

Katherine: YES I'm there, I, thanks...We don't have to...

Hank: 'I call the next Twitness' from Jason

*Both laugh*

Hank: And then sir5000 again, as well as 'Don't @ me', suggested 'Delete This' but with the meme-ified spelling, from the 2016 meme. I assume that, I don't know if that's pronounced 'de-let this' or not. But I decided to go with 'Delete This' with the full normal spelling so that people wouldn't be confused when they were maybe looking it up. 

Katherine: There is, an, another podcast called 'Delete This'.

Hank: There is not, there is a podcast called 'Delete This Podcast'- 

Katherine: Oh. 

Hank: The idea is to delete this podcast, it's not called THE delete this podcast or anything. So, I felt as if we were safe naming our podcast Delete This. 

Katherine: Whatever. It's not like you would get confused, comin' to this podcast to be somethin' different. 

Hank: Yeah, it'd be... yep. 

Katherine: Somethin' real different, guys. 

Hank: Trademark is so 1999. Um, do you wanna tell me to delete a tweet every week?

Katherine: Ummmm...

Hank: Like you have the power to delete one of my tweets a week?

Katherine: Yeah, if I want to. 

Hank: Okay. Do you have anything that you think maybe is deletable from this week?

Katherine: Hmmm I'll let you know when we get there. 

Hank: Okay, well I may not have put it in the, in the, so we've decided to not do every single tweet-

Katherine: Yeah, that's probably...

Hank: That was a bad idea. It got a little bit, a little bit repetetive. 

Katherine: Yeah that's probably a good idea. 

Hank: Um, so, but, now we're gonna jump into a little bit of recap of the week, if you remember, early last week, a think happened that caused me to tweet this. 

 (06:00) to (08:00)

Hank: 'Judging from my twitter feed right now, I am supposed to learn the name of another ridiculous Trump aide, but I'm going to remember the name of the woman I met at pilates today instead- her name was Miranda, she seemed nice.' Do you remember who this person was, that was going on news shows and being dumb?

Katherine: No, because I don't... I haven't been able to engage in that way.

Hank: Yeah. You don't, did you even, did that even hit your radar?

Katherine: Not really. Maybe, something, a woman, she was blonde.

Hank: No, different.

Katherine: Okay then no.

Hank: This was a guy who was like, going on the news shows and saying 'I got subpoenaed by Mueller or Mueller however it's pronounced but I'm not gonna do it, I'm gonna rip that subpoena up! I'm not gonna go on that- that's all hooey!'

Katherine: *Laughing* 

Hank: 'I'm just gonna take that piece of paper and tear it!' And it was like, sort of-

Katherine: No that did not...happen to me

Hank: I mean, it was the WHOLE feed, every, like 90% of tweets I was seeing were about this.

Katherine: Let's see, what was I doing on March fifth? Not. That. I got a massage that day, instead. 

Hank: That was probably a better thing to do. And we went to pilates together, which was great. And now that's SO gone, it was so, it was such a big story, everybody was talking about it, and it is...I can't remember his name.

Katherine: Well Monday comes along, and everybody's like 'what happened? Give me something to talk about that's not the work I'm 'sposed to be doing here at work!'

Hank: There's probably some truth to that.

Katherine: Or like, 'I need to make some content, what's the hottest take on the plate?'

Hank: And 'we need to get some guests on our cable news shows, so like, everybody will have this guy'- and I can't remember his name. Which is great, that's what I said I was gonna do, was not remember his name, and I succeeded! 

Katherine: That's a good job, however you did...lie about the second part of this tweet...

Hank: That's not true-

Katherine: Okaaay

 (08:00) to (10:00)

Hank: I did meet a woman at pilates- I can't remember her name, it was not Miranda.

Katherine: Correct, that's, so how is that not a lie?

Hank: Okay, well it is, uh, to be fair, I remembered her name when I tweeted this. I fake-named, because I didn't wanna-

Katherine: Ah

Hank: So I gave a fake name

Katherine: Ah okay

Hank: But now I have forgotten the real name.

Katherine: Okay, fine. 

Hank: She's the instructor with the calves. She looks like the, she looks like uh, the woman from Chocolat...

Katherine: *laughs*

Hank: Moving on, same day, 'My phebotomist today was very open with the news that she was quite new to the field of poking people with needles. She did a great job though, everybody has a first day.' This tweet went through some revisions. 

Katherine: Yeah, I believe it, because that's not the story I heard.

Both laugh

Katherine: And this is just the thing, like, making these little things for people. 

Hank: They're pieces of content.

Katherine: You're not making them for me.

Hank: No

Katherine: You're not making them for you.

Hank: A little bit for me, like I'll remember what that was about.

Katherine: Yeah I guess...

Hank: But like, and also, like, this is true, nothing in this tweet isnt true!

Katherine: Right, everybody had a first day, sure, but I think you were like, and yeah, how do I say this and make it...

Hank: Mr Rogers-worthy

Katherine: Exactly

Both giggle

Katherine: W.W.M.R.D

Hank: Let me give you a quote from a conversation I had with my phlebotomist. This is the people who take your blood at the hospital. 'Is this a vein or an artery?' This was not me speaking, this was the person who's tasked with removing my blood. I dunno, I feel like, look, I'm a young man, I have healthy blood pressure and healthy vein-size, diameter, she probably takes a lot of blood from people who don't have nice beefy veins like I do, and was maybe surprised by the...the ease with which she could locate my vein. But... I don't need to hear it.

 (10:00) to (12:00)

Katherine: Don't you get like anatomy...stuff?

Hank: I assume, yeah. Uh, so I was like 'well, there's only one way to find out!' I've had my blood taken so many times that it's not, and I was like 'she's got her finger on my vein', like I know that that's my vein, and

Katherine: That's the one

Hank: That's the one they take it out of, and uh, yeah

Katherine: You weren't really worried

Hank: I was not, I wasn't not worried that she was gonna hit an artery, and um, but I, if she did hit an artery... whatever, that's okay, I would've bled a bunch.

Katherine: Just a slightly troubling thing for the person who's about to nedle you to say. 

Hank: It did seem, there was some oversharing.

Katherine: And I think your like, ability to be like 'cool, go for it' is amazing, because I would have been like 'Hey now, no no, hands off the person, at the moment.'

Hank: 'Next phebotomist!'

Katherine: 'Can we get at least maybe a third party in here?'

Hank: Yeah.

Katherine: Who can be like 'that's the one honey'

Hank: 'You touch my vein and tell if it's an artery or not.'

Katherine: Yeah, uhhh.

Hank: I've gotten poked a lot of times.

Katherine: Yeah, well, all the more reason to be like 'Do it right.' 

Hank: Yeah I wouldn't want to mess that vein up, it's real good.

Katherine: *laughing* It's a good one

Hank: I have, I have uh, if they go in my left arm sometimes there's trouble, so I just make 'em do my right and uh...

Katherine: Yeah my left arm is less good than my right arm.

Hank: Yeah so I just give them that good one, and if they mess that one up I wouldn't like it. I don't know what happens

Katherine: Probably just cuz of the handedness, do you think maybe?

Hank: Yeah yeah, you use your right arm more so there's more blood supply to it. 

Katherine: Weird. 

Hank: Uh huh. You can tell, you can totally see it

Katherine: Totally, I mean like, I'm looking at both of my arms and my right arm is like, 'veiny mother!' and my left arm is like 'hello?' 

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