John: Good morning, Hank, it's Tuesday, in a stunning turn of events, I have found myself in an airport.  I'm here because I'm on my way to Brazil to attend the Paper Towns premiere there, and actually, I won't be returning home to my beloved Indianapolis International Airport for 28 days, except for a brief sojourn thanks to the love and support of Nerdfighteria, but more on that in a moment. 

Alright, Hank, I have a bunch of news.  First, bad news, my daughter Alice is a little bit sick.  She threw up this morning and it was just horrible to watch, because in addition to like, the regular miseries of throwing up, children can't understand what's happening to them, so she was just like, wait, why is something coming out of my mouth, my mouth is for putting things in!  But she doesn't have a very good vocabulary, so she just kept saying 'noooo'.  Oh, it was heartbreaking. 

Okay, Hank, on to some slightly better news.  Cara Delevingne, Nat Wolff, Halston Sage, and I are going on a brief tour of the United States before the Paper Towns movie comes out.  Basically, everyone could vote for their state on Tumblr, and the winning states were Ohio, Texas, and my own home state of Indiana.  Hank, it is not lost on me that Indiana is a relatively small state that received a lot of votes from kind people who do not live here, but just thought that I might enjoy having a day with my family, so thank you, thank you, thank you.  So, Hank, we'll be in Indianapolis July 14th, Columbus, Ohio July 15th, and Dallas, Texas July 16th, all the events are free, they will be crazy fun, lots of surprises, I don't know the venues and the times yet, but I should sometime in the next week, I will let you know.

In even more good news, last night, Sarah and a bunch of my friends saw the Paper Towns movie for the first time, and they all really liked it, or else they're lying, but no, I do think they really liked it.  They laughed, they felt things, it was good.  But in terrible news, literally none of them noticed my cameo in the movie.  I mean, Hank, at the end of the movie, my life partner of more than a decade turned to me and said, "That was such a great movie.  I thought you said that you were in it.  Where were you?"  So, yeah, Hank, I am in the movie, but apparently, in a way that no one will notice. 

Okay, even more good news.  Hank, the night before the Paper Towns movie actually comes out in the United States on July 24th, there will be a special event at a couple hundred theaters on the night of July 23rd.  That night of July 23rd is gonna be like the first real public showing of the movie in the US, and I'm so excited about it, and then afterwards, there's gonna be this, like, livestream beamed into theaters around the country featuring the whole cast and also special guests I'm not allowed to name.  I'm just really excited to celebrate the movie with the whole cast and with the people who care the most about the story, so yeah, we're gonna answer your questions and sing songs, it's gonna be tons of fun, nightonthetowns.com, there's a link in the doobly-doo. 

Alright, Hank, now to the news that for many years, I thought would be bad, but I think actually might turn out to be kind of great.  So Hank, more than 10 years ago, I sold the movie rights to my first novel, Looking for Alaska, and as you know, since then, I have frequently tried to get them back.  Hank, there's a big part of me that never wanted a Looking for Alaska movie to be made.  The story is very personal to me, I know it matters a lot to a lot of its readers, but then again, the money we made from selling the movie rights was extremely important to us, it allowed us to move to New York so Sarah could go to graduate school and pursue her dream of becoming a curator.  So I could never really regret it, but as you know, Hank, over the years, it's been difficult for me, I've had some mixed feelings about it.

But Hank, suddenly it seems like the movie isn't just going to happen, it's going to happen in a way that I can be really proud of.  Weber and Neustadter, who also wrote the screenplays for The Fault in Our Stars and Paper Towns have written a beautiful script and Becca Thomas who previously directed the movie Electric Children has just been hired to direct Looking for Alaska, and that means that it's probably gonna happen.  It might still fall apart, things often do, but now I hope that it doesn't, because I really like Becca and she gets the book all the way down.  So yeah, I am excited about the prospect of a Looking for Alaska movie are words I never thought I would say, but I am. 

I hope you guys are excited too, and I hope you're excited for the Paper Towns movie, I know that it's scary when a book is turned into a movie, I mean, it's very scary for me, but it's exciting, too, so Hank, that's the news.  Oh wait, a couple more pieces of good news.  The United State Supreme Court did not cancel our health insurance, Hank, and also, no matter who you are, and no matter where you live in the United States, you can marry the person you love.  Here's to the activists and decades of activism that made that happen.  Hank, I'll see you on Friday.

p.s. Hank, I tried to bring a champagne popper into the airport so I could have a big huzzah at the end of the video, but it turns out that's not allowed.