There's a lot of ways to die
under Ireland's sky
But the worst way by far might be a bit of a surprise
I'd rather be knifed in a bar
or hit by a car
than to meet my end lookin' in to her eyes
and hear the cries
of my demise
my last goodbyes 

Well she's a six ounce ball of blood, muscle and fur
and she's the evilest thing, in this or any world 
and you better start running if you ever see her
she's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel

I was at the county fair
And Scuzzy Kizoozle was there
She sliced through the crowd like a mower mowing lawns
I watched the people fall, to her razor sharp claws
And she was right there in my face before I knew what was going on
I raised my arm
And tried to run
But I was stunned

Well she's a six ounce ball of blood, muscle and fur
and she's the evilest thing, in this or any world
and you better start running if you ever see her
she's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel

Well her teeth sank into my arm and
everything but pain was gone and I
looked down at
her blood-stained fangs
she looked into my eyes and
the fear was paralyzing I
felt the blood
running from my veins
and oh the pain
and oh the pain
and oh the pain

Well she's a six ounce ball of blood, muscle and fur
And she's the evilest thing in this or any world 
and you better start running if you ever see her
she's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel

I'm only alive today
by God's grace
I'm the only man who's met with her and lived to tell the tale
But I keep my eyes wide
she will never be denied
Until the day I die she'll be right there on my trail
o'er hill and dale
through rain and hail
she will prevail!

Well she's a six ounce ball of blood, muscle and fur
And she's the evilest thing in this or any world 
and you better start running if you ever see her
She's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel.
She's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel
Yes Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel.