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Last sync:2023-01-10 15:00
In which John answers the YouTube survey. Watch his survey here: He also discusses secret sister Maureen Johnson's amazing new book The Name of the Star, which came out yesterday. You can get it here:

The questions are:
1) Tell us about your first kiss
2) What is the most expensive casual item of clothing you've ever bought?
3) What was the first job you ever wanted as a kid?
4) Tell us about your group of school friends
5) What would you name your kids?
and 6) Who do you want to answer the survey next?


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A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')
Good morning, Hank. It's Friday.

I'm gonna do Alex Day's YouTube survey today, but quickly, four things. First:

[Hank] Balls, balls, balls, balls ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba. Balls, balls, balls, balls, ba-a-a-a-a-a. Balls, balls!

[John] You said "balls" a lot in your last video. Second, team six for life!
Third, our secret sister Maureen Johnson, a.k.a. Actual John Green, had her best book ever, "The Name of the Star" come out yesterday. I'm very excited about this book, because everybody is gonna love it!
Fourth, Hank, did you know that Nerdfighters have loaned more than 55,000 dollars to entrepreneurs in the developing world through Kiva?! French the Llama! 55,000 dollars! Hank, I am once again reminded that Nerdfighters are made of awesome.

So every year Alex Day does a survey - well, this is the first year, but it's, y'know, gonna be every year.

[Alex] Tell us about your first kiss.

[John] I assume you mean French kiss. In that case, it was at summer camp. Summer camp was kind of like the internet before the internet was the internet, like at summer camp you were cooler and better looking than you were IRL. Hank, you might have heard this story before, but I had a girlfriend, her name was Tiffany, and we had a candlelight ceremony on the last night of camp. Hank, looking back, I'm not sure I would technically call if kissing. It was kind of like facial licking. But anyway, we had this candlelight ceremony, and uh, we both knew that we wanted to French (we'd discussed it previously). Everybody's crying 'cause camp's about to end, you've gotta go back to your IRL life where you aren't nearly as cool, and I walk up to Tiffany and I wrap my arms around her, and I start, you know, just licking her face. And eventually, I start to smell the fact that my hair is on fire, 'cause I've got my arm so far wrapped around her the candle is like lighting my hair and it's burning, and, yeah.
My second kiss came three years later.

[Alex] Most expensive casual item of clothing ever bought.

[John] Definitely this suit, which I had to buy so I wouldn't look like a dumbass standing next to my wife at the Venice Biennale. Of course, Hank, some will say that this suit isn't casual, in which case my most expensive article of casual clothing is probably my "Team six 4 life" T-shirt.

[Alex] What was the first job you ever wanted as a kid?

[John] I don't know if you remember this, Hank, but when we were little I really wanted to be an earthworm scientist, like a professional studier of earthworms. I guess because it mixed my two talents of animal husbandry and science.

[Alex] Tell us about your group of school friends.

[John] I was a nerd, but then for my last three years of high school I went to a really nerdy boarding school and there I wasn't really a nerd, I was kind of like, a troublemaker. I'm so embarrassed to have this secret non-nerdy past!

[Alex] What would you name your kids?

[John] How do you know you're too old for YouTube? You've already named a kid.
I really wanted to name Henry "Gatsby," but Sarah was like, "We can't name our child Gatsby." She was like, "He's a tragic character! You don't want a child to end up like Gatsby!" But I was like, "No, no, no, Gatsby turned out all right in the end. It was what preyed on Gatsby, what foul dust trailed in the wake of his dreams." I actually wanted to put that quote over his crib.

[Alex] Who do you want to answer the survey next?

[John] Everybody can leave survey responses here or at Nerimon's video, but I really want my brother to answer the survey. My brother, Hank Green, whom I will see on Monday!

[Sings] My chair's so spinny. Spinny spinny chair. I promised Nerdfighteria I wouldn't sing any more.

[Spoken] I'm sorry.