Hank: Hello, and welcome to Games with Hank.  I am Hank, and today the game is going to be Besiege.  Besiege appears to be basically Kerbal Space Program, except in medieval times.  Kerbal Space Program with more blood and gore and death and explosions.  Probably not more explosions the way I play Kerbal Space Program. 

I have not actually played it yet.  I've seen it played, it looks really cool, and I love the idea of being able to build war machines.  I'm looking forward to it.  It's a pretty game so far.  I can rotate things?  What is it telling me?  There's a sandbox, there's a moon, and I can click to rotate the planet, it's such a rotaty place, alright, let's--under construction, under construction, this game is in pre-release right now, so let's head to Ipsilon, 'cause I think that is the only option we have.  The Isle of Ipsilon, ruled by Queen Winifreth win-- win-- Winfreth, I'm gonna start at Zone 1, that seems like the safe place to start to me.

I don't know what I'm doing, but first build some wooden blocks onto the source cube, okay, wooden blocks, alright, alright, good.  Okay, yeah, I see now, alright, over here, neat, neat, alright, this is working, I like that it's working.  I'm trying to build exactly what you told me to build.  I've don--I've not done it, how do I delete?  How do I delete? Delete, delete, delete.

Alright, now build some wheels.  Some wheels.  Wheels are important.  They go round and round, the wheels are on the siege engine go round and round.  Now place your siege engine on the crown.  How?  Where's that button?  It's up here.  There it is, it's on the ground, alright, I did that, and then accelerate using the button.  How do I do--what button?  Yes.  Okay.  Good, I'm doing that, I think.  I just put a wheel on top of it.  Destroy, it says.  I want to do that.  Ohh, I had to push a button.  Ahhh, destroyed, I win!  And I think I may have killed a sheep. 

I'm impressed with my ability to destroy a small home.  Uh, how do you remove things?  Locks, mechanical, weaponry, flight...FLIGHT?  I can fly?  Alright, how do I control those, though?  How do I control that?  The 'O' button?  Okay. Alright, flipped right over, I can see why that happened.

Erase blocks.  Yes, okay, good, alright.  It's not telling me what to do anymore, I just have to figure it out.  What should I do?  What should I do?  Who knows, what should I do?  Cog, we've got a powered cog and an unpowered cog.  Securing hinge, steering, decoupler, oh wow, just like Kerbal Space Program.   We've got armor, flight, weaponry, that sounds good.  Metal blade.  Okay, metal blade.

Alright, let's get back to the blocks, I've got an idea now that I know about this metal blade.  Also, there's the flying, which is quite nice.  So let's just--let's fly. Let's do that.  That sounds good.  Alright, here we go.  Oh, yeah.  I can't lift everything.  I killed a turkey.  Death to turkeys. 

Uhh, I flipped myself over, okay.  Well I killed some turkeys anyway.  Alright, blocks.  Blocks, blocks, blocks, blocks, yes, blocks.  And if I put the weaponry on it, is there--there's a spiky ball, but is there a chain that I can put?  Flaming ball?  Plow.  Plow?  Okay, I don't know what that is.  Metal spike, circular saw.  How do I attach this--oh, I can put another block on that?  So I translate you down, and then let's put a block on top of that, just a little one, and then on nex-- I can get a blade, stick it out, yeah, that looks bad.  That looks like the sort of thing you wouldn't want to mess with. Yeah! Watch out, it's--yeaaaah, take it, yeaaaah! 

What do I have now?  Where am I?  The steering hinge to be on the front and then just wheels on the back.  Okay.  And then let's see if we can make it.  Let's try to do it.  Doo-doo-doo-do, oh.  I exploded because apparently there are landmines and nobody told me about that. 

I did it again, I went right onto the landmine.  Um, okay.  Can I change the--can I have--can I change the direction of the steering engines?  Brace.  Click and drag brace between two points.  Oh, it's just like a-- okay.  Alright.  Turn.  You're not very good at turning.  Oh, you're frickin'--a frickin' wheel fell off, so that's not gonna help.  I blew myself up intentionally!

So yeah, let's start all over again, we're just gonna start all over again.  Doo-doo-doo.  'Cause I don't need any of this stuff, that's just making it confusing.  And so let's make this a much, much smaller little thing.  Yeah!  What the fr--dang it, I didn't even see that one!  Takes--ohhh!  It's hard not to over-steer in this game. 

Yeah.  'Scuse me, tree and also sheep.  Aw, come on!  What happened?  What were the sheep even doing, they're like, running toward me after I--okay, not my fault! 

Doot-doo-doo, doo doo doo, try not to lose the wheel.  I lost a wheel.  Now I'm going whoa, what just happened?  That didn't make any sense at all.  Alright.  Alright.  Ooh, that was close, alright, stop running toward me, you idiot sheep.  And I exploded again.

Oh, stop, stop, I'm sorry, sheep, I'm sorry.  Oh, God, it's so hard.  Wow, that was weird.  Yes, good, good, die.  What the frick?!

Okay, let's just go around.  Let's just go all the way around.  Why did the frickin wheel just fall off??

What are you doing to me?  Stop it sheep, stop, stop, stop.  Ohh, ohh, ohh.  Why did I just do a front flip, I don't know, but we're almost there, we're almost there-aaaaaaaaaah. 

Yes, I need to--I need to do that separately, uh, and then turn, and then straight and then turn and then straight and then turn and then turn and then straight.  No.  No sheep, don't--aaaaah, come on, hold yourself together, man!

I'm just gonna go right over this tree, 'cause I've proven that I can, and then right over all those--and then try and sneak through this right here, okay, good, good, good, oh yeah, I'm a--oh, come on, are you serious?  Are you frickin' kidding me right now?  Frickin'...come on, get on the thing, get on the--back up, no, no, no, get on the thing.

Yep, reverse, reverse, now, oh co--what are you doing?  Why are you doing little flips?  Reverse, reverse, what is stopping you from reversing except for that sheep, which is just a sheep, you should be able to reverse, okay.  Aaaand forward.  Aand side--.  Yaaaay!  The world is not terrible.

Well, I don't feel like I'm very good at this game. Yet.  Alright, perimeter wall.  The Isle of Ipsilon.  Alright, well, let's just try and drive at it and see what happens.  Well.  Did that--I feel like I won, because I killed them all.  Oh, I just killed Robin and Drake, the little body burns, and Aldus and Juaquim, sorry, I feel bad about that now. 

Let's just go around.  Your wall isn't very big, and I am a siege engine, I am impervious to your little shenanigans.  Get it!  Okay, well, now I've learned that the hinge goes all the way around.  Alright, this isn't good.  I feel like now is the time to actually try and do something interesting.

Uhh, okay.  Mechanical weaponry, metal spike, flaming ball sounds awfully good.  Flamethrower?  Where does that go?  Get a couple of those.  'Y' to ignite, okay, what happens?  'Y'.  Oh, okay.  Watch out, everybody.  I have now shooting fire out of me, which is--ain't bad.  Um.  Okay.  

I feel like I need--is there like a--metal blade, circular saw, cannon?!  Well, yes, I'll take a cannon.  I need to shoot the cannon at this thing.  Oh, why did that--'C'--alright, yay, I killed everybody, they exploded with death, but still not good.

I don't like the way that my wheels are behaving.  I feel like they should behave differently.  Let's start from scratch.  That seems like the right thing to do to me.  What's this, wooden pole, brace, wooden panel, hinge, half pipe, okay.  (buildy sounds)

Okay, I don't know what this is gonna do for me, but let's just see, let's just start-- I almost-- WASD'd it, okay, cannon, I--it shot me right, it broke my craft, the cannon. 

Let's do that again, but better this time.  Yep, take that.  And then what do I do?  Oh, I break myself in half again.  That's not right.  What is happening to you, little friend?  What is happening to you?  That is wha--how you know a game is in alpha, right there.  That's not normal.

I cannot tell you whether or not this is a good idea, but I don't care that much.  I broke myself.

Okay, play again, and this time, cannon!  You didn't get to hit me that many times.  We're now going to go around the wall, now that you're all dead, and hopeful--oh!  Not break in half, is what I was going to say, hopefully not break in half.  Come on!  Hit it.  Hit it.  Okay, I broke that, and it will be pure luck if I manage to--oh, gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, that looks dangerous.  That looks dang--like, I like it, if only it would go the direction I wanted it to go in.  Oh, man.  Come on.  Get over there.  Oh, darn.

Alright, I feel, I feel good about this, though.  Right.  They're dead.  I did that.  The trick is--oh, I'm on fire.  I'm on fire!  I fire--fire death fire. 

Good.  Now avoid the fire.  Remember when I said avoid the fire?  I meant it.  Now I feel like I have to reverse into this.  Oh, come on, it's so fragile.

Alright, can I just wait for the fire to go out and go right over?  I don't feel like I can.  Oh, man, I killed so many people.  Oh, my thing fell off.  Alright, here I come.  Takin' a wide, goin' wide with this.

Can't see.  Okay.  I just need to reverse into this house thing.  Okay, good, first step, nope, this way, and then re--no, straighten out and then reverse.  Yeah!  Take it!  Yes, zone conquered! 

Thank you for watching this episode of Games with Hank.  The game has been Besiege, I have been the Hank, and this--uh, that only took me forever.  This is an enjoyable game, it's very pretty, and lots of destruction happens and I get to build weird things, so I--I'm pretty sure I'm going to play it again.  Thanks for watching and DFTBA.