A food made by John, as a punishment. The sandwich is basically all the constituent parts of a Carl's Jr. burger, and is created by, in Hank's description, "dissolving protein powder, strawberry flavored... into Crisco, melting it, and then chunking it up into a fat sandwich". How it is actually made is by putting a quarter cup of Crisco fat, 1 teaspoon of high fructose corn syrup (Mrs. Butterworth), 1 teaspoon of salt, and two scoops of soy protein (strawberry), turning on the burner and putting the listed ingredients into a pot. The video where John eats this was uploaded on June 10, 2009.

John's description of the sandwich: "Just like regular fast food, the first couple bites were delicious, and then it became progressively grosser, and then I vomited, and then I managed to continue eating."