Hank: I bought 80 party blowers.
Andrew: oooh, is that just for the show?
Hank: Just for this show, yeah. I'm gonna see if I can... I dunno, yeah. I mean, I'm not gonna--I don't wanna hold anything back.
(party blower noise)
Andrew: Yeah. 80 people should get party blowers tonight.
Hank: That one. That person will get a party blower that's been touched by the lips of Craig. Craig-lipped one.
Craig: Been there. Better put it back.
Hank: You're gonna get all Craig's Hepatitis. (Craig laughs) Let the record show that Craig does not have Hepatitis.
Craig: No. I've very sanitary and I had my shots. So.
Hank: What kind of diseases do you have?
Craig: I have asthma.
Hank: Asthma.
Craig: And I'm allergic to tree nuts, is that a disease? I don't know.
Hank: Uh yeah, sure.
Craig: And uh, I think that's it.
Hank: But neither are contagious conditions. So I don't have to worry about getting a tree nut allergy by blowing on that party blower.
Craig: As far as I know. Although there was a recent occurrence of someone getting a blood transfusion and uh--
Hank: I heard about that.
Craig: Did you hear about that from a WheezyWaiter video?
Hank: No.
Craig: Well then you need to watch more WheezyWaiter.
Hank: Yeah. I saw it on Reddit.
Craig: Yeah. That's where Matt saw it while I was shooting my video about tree nuts and he walked in and told me about it. Someone, someone got a blood transfusion and then became allergic to Brazil nuts.
Hank: Wow. Specifically Brazil nuts. Wow.
Katherine: Specific.
Craig: Interesting. I wonder if they got rid of it though. If they were able to--
Hank: fix them?
Craig: Which would be amazing, then they should fix me! Give me some blood!
Hank: Yeah, fix Craig. Hashtag!
Craig: My blood's allergic to nuts.
Hank: This episode is called Operation Fix Craig!
Craig. Yeah. Anyone out there who's not allergic to nuts who wants to give me all of their blood?
Hank: ALL OF IT.
Craig: Well, I need a whole body's worth.
Hank: I don't really think that's how it works.
Craig: Oh, okay. Well if I want to not be allergic. I don't know how it works.
Hank: I don't think that's how it works.
Craig: Oh, okay.
Hank: You can't just get rid of your blood, you're gonna keep making the same white blood cells you always been making no matter what.
Craig: Mmmm.
Hank: BUT apparently your blood-- the white blood cells you produce can be influenced by blood transfusion, which is weird.
Craig: That is weird.
Hank: I would not have guessed that.
Andrew: Allergies are weird though because I feel like... like if you're allergic to specifically a Brazil nut, the things that make up a Brazil nut also make up other...
Hank: But there are proteins that are unique to Brazil nuts.
Andrew: Oh, okay. Very very specific.
Hank: Yeah.
Andrew: Only Brazil nut.
Craig: What is the protein in tree nuts that I'm allergic to?
Hank: I don't know.
Craig: I would like to know.
Hank: I bet you could Google it.
Craig: I bet I could. I want to go into a bakery and not have to worry. You know?
Hank: I know. You can never really go to bakeries.
Craig: Not really.
Hank: I wanted to take you to a bakery in Missoula and you were like"I don't think so."
Craig: I walked in and I looked at it and I'm like "I don't think I can do this."
Hank: "This is a bad idea."
Craig: Yeah most-- pastries are probably the worst thing. Chocolate's okay sometimes but not always.
Hank: Ugh. I mean, just remember that 200 years ago everybody pooped in holes in the ground.
Craig: I often try to think about that.
Hank: They-- none of them had bakeries or chocolate.
Craig: Yeah, I'm not-- hey, I love my life, I'm very, I feel blessed.
Hank: They had to wear wool underpants.
Craig: Did they? Do you know that for sure?
Hank: Right on your junk.
Craig: Did they really?
Hank: Wool all the time.
Craig: I think you're making that up.
Andrew: We determined this at breakfast.
Craig: Oh, okay. It seems a little itchy.
Hank: I didn't-- We determined it, to be clear, we did not research it, we were just like "What else would they have worn?"
Craig: Right, that's what I was thinking. Cuz it seems itchy and full of static. You might get a lot of shocks down there.
Hank: Junk shocks.
Craig: Junk shocks, yeah.
Hank: That's my new band.
Craig: Jock Shocks.
Hank: It's now--
Andrew: I was gonna say Cock Shocks, yeah.
Hank: Hank Green and the Cock Shocks.
Craig: How explicit can we get in this?
Hank: It's E rating on iTunes, it's explicit, parental advisory.
Craig: Holy fuck, wow.
Hank: The first episode I did I was like "I do not have time to take out the swears and I'm not gonna not include that, it was funny."
Craig: Some of my old Wheezy videos have lots of swears. You've sworn in Vlogbrothers before.
Hank: Yeah, yeah, early vlogbrothers. I should put warnings on those early ones.
Craig: Yeah, have you ever deleted a video?
Hank: No. No. But I got one taken down recently for a copyright claim.
Craig: An old one?
Hank: But I got it reinstated. No, a new one. Like, a week after it went up.
Craig: Oh. What?
Hank: Yeah.
Craig: That's ridiculous.
Hank: It was--it wasn't even a big company, it was a YouTuber, 'cause I stole from another YouTuber. I totally deserved it.
Craig: Oh, so they--so you totally just stole from another YouTuber?
Hank: Yeah.
Craig: Without crediting.
Hank: I did not realize. I didn't credit them at all. I thought I was posting a game glitch and it turned out I was posting someone's 3D animation.
Craig: Oh. Oh. Oops.
Andrew: That's hard work.
Craig: Oops. But then you worked it out with them?
Hank: I did, I got in touch with them. He was like "I just figured you would never have talked to me." and I was like "I'm also just a person."